


Tainted

by We All Fall Eventually (RavenZaphara)



Series: Songs About Strings [5]
Category: Horrortale - Fandom, Undertail - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gaster!Sans, Alternate Universe - Horrortale, Brief Gore, F/M, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, G!Papyrus - Freeform, Goddammit i meant afab not fmab im very tired i stg this isnt fmab, Human blood and flesh is like a drug to monsters, M/M, Neighbors, Poor strings always ends up addicted to something regardless of au, Sex, Shay and 2nd Chapter's Reader are both nonbinary, Shay is a very bad person in this one, THANKS TO WHISPER FOR MAKING FAN ART OMG FRENDO, Thus the rating, g!sans - Freeform, i still intend to make a direct version of all of strings' stories with amab readers, it's fucking horrortale what do you want from me, mutual pining will be involved, slow burn -- kind of, so they're collectively in rehab kind of, this is the fmab version then
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-05-25 23:04:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14987510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenZaphara/pseuds/We%20All%20Fall%20Eventually
Summary: I cannot stop this sickness taking over/It takes control and drags me into nowhereI need your help, I can't fight this forever/I know you're watching; I can feel you out thereTake me high and I'll sing/You make everything okayWe are one and the same/You take all of the pain awaySave me if I become my demonsHuman flesh was once the staple of the monster diet, but now that other food sources are available and science has determined there are better long-term benefits to a diet not saturated in human blood, monsters have begun rehabilitation. Now, human blood is a distant temptation, a secretly coveted drug that leads to ruin. Humans have integrated into monster society, have even found mates in monsters.Strings, an amnesiac skeleton monster, made the mistake of choosing the wrong one.





	1. Who's The Real Monster, Here?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dark_Crystal_Demon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Crystal_Demon/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Horrific Fate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808983) by [Dark_Crystal_Demon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Crystal_Demon/pseuds/Dark_Crystal_Demon). 



> Silver Light
> 
> I can feel it like I’m gonna die  
> Fucking breaking dunno if i’ll survive  
> Just wanna breathe you in and scream  
> Your fucking name
> 
> Ah! Just rip me apart and chew on my bits I wanna be part of you  
> Part of you in some way that don’t make sense!  
> Ah… Ah! I wanna fuck you like an animal and claim you in ways  
> That make you fucking ashamed to go home to your friends  
> Just. Ah! Fuckin come to me. Yeah!
> 
> I can feel it like I’m gonna die  
> Fucking breaking dunno if you’ll survive  
> Just wanna breathe you in and scream  
> Your fucking name
> 
> Ah! You’re in my fucking head and I can’t escape I need you  
> Need you bad in some way that don’t make sense!  
> Ah… Ah! I wanna fuck you like a beast, make you scream until you can’t  
> Remember where you’re from or who you were back then.  
> Just. Ah! Just fuckin love me. Yeah!
> 
> (*weird breathing*)
> 
> I’m gonna bathe you in silver light  
> Worship you till you forget your old name  
> Bathe you in silver light  
> Gonna show you that I can’t let go of you now  
> Silver fucking light  
> Worship you till you can’t fight how you feel  
> Silver fucking light  
> Won’t you just say you love me now?
> 
> ~
> 
> I even wrote a song for this one. Don't expect another one for this particular story. 
> 
> Content warnings for: ignored firmly-set boundaries, addiction, emotional turmoil, pregnancy mentions, heat mentions, mild gore/dismemberment, guilt, alcohol use, and sexual content. If there's anything else in this that needs to be tagged please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY WE GOT [FANART](https://zaiyofalls.tumblr.com/post/175161607771/with-a-whisper-for-a-fic-on-ao3-called)! i'm gonna put it in the story so you can see it if tumblr's mean to you like it is to me, but please go give some love to Whisper who drew it!!
> 
> Imma pass out now. Enjoy the story!!! ^.^

“Strings. I’m low on meat.” Gentem’s voice boomed from downstairs. Strings rolled out of bed, landing naked on all fours, stretching before getting to his feet. The parts of his bones that were chipped and jagged, held together purely by magic, had gotten caught on the sheets again, pulling them off the bed and dragging behind him. He tore them off and supplemented the missing pieces with excess magic. He honestly considered not even getting dressed, but if he was going out to hunt, he’d draw slightly less attention if he covered up a bit.

When he opened the door, the smell of Gentem’s pastries reached him. His mouth started to water and he warped directly into the kitchen, where Gentem nearly hit him in his already busted-open skull with a hot pan of fresh pies.

Gentem was huge, and even though he was essentially harmless, he certainly didn’t look it. Huge teeth stained from eating so much raw meat, muzzle still caked in blood from breakfast. His clothes were always ragged from the bleach required to remove blood stains eating through the fabric, and his eyes were covered with a set of specially made goggles to hide his eyes, which left no illusions.

Bloodlust made for poor customer base, after all. With the Queen making a hesitant truce with humans, more and more of them were filing into the town in an attempt to learn more about them. Some monsters were handling Rehabilitation better than others.  

It was an odd development: The food shortage that the underground had experienced was all but rendered moot above ground. There was wild game, fish, and the art of farming had never truly been erased despite everyone’s dependence on meat. Although human meat was much better suited to rapid health recovery and stabilizing magic levels and left the monster who consumed it in a pleasant state of lethargy for a period of time, it was discovered by the Royal Scientist and Consort to Her Majesty that the benefits of foregoing human meat would lead to better resilience, independence, and mood-- and less infant mortality in monsters.

Many questioned her methods, as well as whether it was true at all, but Her Majesty was never one to tolerate questioning of her Royal Consort. Thus, the truce and a focus on non-human meats. Rehabilitative clinics were set up all around town, and the least intimidating monsters were gathered to maintain human relations. The Queen was many things. _Intimidating_ was at the forefront of those things.

However, the truce worked. It led to humans eventually coming into the territory. All of them armed. Monsters were commanded not to fight, however, there were a few who were tempted to a little too hard. In a surprising turn of events, the humans involved in those altercations were not as willing to fight back despite being armed to the teeth. Perhaps it was just about being intimidating, themselves?

Understandings were reached, friendships began to be built. Grillby’s bar, Gentem’s Airship, and the club down the street started seeing a drastic increase in human patrons who were either stupidly curious or unnecessarily adventurous. It wasn’t an uncommon joke that it was “an entirely new way to eat a human.” After only a couple years, the Royal Consort was running well-funded experiments on how compatible human and monster biology really could be. By that time, though, many humans were way ahead of the game.

Due to the nature of how things were in the underground, if monsters were stored up on large reserves of magic-- a side effect of being well-fed-- the build-up would bring a more beastly side out in them. Human mates were found to be very resilient, and more surprisingly _receptive_. A sharp increase in population was expected in the next few years.

Nonetheless, humans became a common sight in Topside, some local hunters and gardeners even being bold enough to bring their wares into town. The humans started becoming desensitized to the sight of monsters with faces caked in blood from consumption of fresh animal meat. Monsters began to idolize the idea of bonding with a human as the Number One Sign that you were fully recovered from Addiction.

However, with Strings as close as he was to Gentem, he could see exactly what happened in these relationships. Weaning yourself of human blood was one thing, but being bonded to what was almost literally like Heroin for Monsters... How absolutely could you wean yourself off, if your mate was a willing donor? Gentem was in a backslidden condition, and his human mate was pregnant. He was terrified to be around her because he had ceased to have a heavy resistance to the pull of human flesh.

Luckily, no one in the dining area really paid any heed to Gentem as he licked his chops, threw a pie at Strings, who caught it with his magic, and shoved aside to set the tray down. His voice was loud whether he meant it or not, with a gravelly undertone from having just eaten very sloppily. “Need meat for the lunch rush. Also, I need you to check in on Fennel and make sure Alison is safe.”

Gentem was having a hard time right now. Alison was his and Fennel’s mate, and Gentem had gone into heat a couple months before. Alison was bedridden, with Fennel taking care of her. Gentem’s instincts were making him possessive and over-protective, which was why he was staying even busier at the shop, to make sure he didn’t smother either of them.

Strings shoved the pie into his mouth all at once and left. The border of Topside town cut through a large forest where the most hunting happened. With convents of farming, hunting wild game wasn’t as common anymore, but Gentem had a specific taste for venison. Alison did too, thus he was running out way too quickly.

Strings didn’t mind; he loved the hunt. But what he loved most was the catch. Now, in the forest, he let himself sink back against a tree. He inhaled the wind. Past the overwhelming stench of tree sap from where the lumber mills had taken their fill to build new homes, there was a fresh scent. A couple of deer. His luck was rarely this good. It’s why morning hunting was best.

He went close to the ground, his bones creaking, muffled by the fabric. He adjusted his magic to stifle his scent. And then he gave chase, following the trail.

It didn’t take long. The prey instinct triggered too late, and he was already dug into its throat. It was almost anticlimactic, but the taste of blood, even animal blood, made him feel electric. He couldn’t unfasten his jaws from the flesh for a long moment. Literally couldn’t will himself to unclench.

It was when the blood stopped flowing that he finally managed to let go, but his senses, ever heightened by the jumpstart to his magic from his snack, picked up on something else nearby.

Alcohol. Sweat. And human blood.

He was surprised he hadn’t smelt it earlier. He picked up the deer and slung it over his shoulder. He should get this back to Gentem immediately… But he wandered in the direction of the human blood. Sure enough, laying in the leaves was a human wearing no shoes, booty shorts, and an oversized tee shirt that said “I FUCKING LOVE CHILI” on the front in giant rainbow letters. They had cut their feet and knees up, and beside their head was a fireball whisky bottle. Empty.

What the fuck.

Strings sighed and scooped the human up, slinging them over his other shoulder and warping directly into his bedroom, settling them down on the bed. It needed to be washed anyway; needed to be washed weeks ago, as a matter of fact. Then he warped into the back room where Gentem was waiting for the meat.

“Mmmn. Good job, son. Awful quick. Did you check on--”

“Found a human. Put them in my room. I’m going to go see Ali and Fen now. Stay out of the upstairs. They have wounds.”

Gentem gulped. “Yes.”

“Stay down here.”

Hesitation. Finally, “Yes. Yes, I will.”

“I’ll be back in a few minutes, and I’ll wake them and make them bathe.”

“Why are they here?” He growled.

Strings made a face. “I wasn’t sure if they were safe or not. In their state, they could have been running from someone.”

“You think someone might be attacking humans?”

“You think it’s impossible?”

“No.” He sighed and took the deer. “Be quick coming home. I'd feel safer with watchful eyes.”

“Just stay down here and tend the front for now. I’ll be right back. I believe in you.”

Gentem nodded, and Strings teleported back up to the bedroom to check on the human. They were still out like a light. Impressive. He teleported again and Alison almost fell off the couch next to him. “Don’t _scare_ me like that!!!” She screeched, holding her belly, which was horrifyingly big. Fennel rushed in, holding his hammer.

“Oughta crack ye skull. He send ye already taday?” Fennel was short, any way you cut it. Most humans mistook him for a leprechaun but he was actually some mix between a gnome and a dryad. His skin was earthy with a weird orange tone mixed in in some places with blotches of purple in others. His hair looked like branches. He also had a wide mouth full of razor sharp teeth. Thousands of them, like needles in rows.

“Course.”

Fennel sighed and tossed down the hammer. Alison grumbled that she didn’t want dents in her floors, but she lay back down and went quiet, holding her stomach and sighing. She was pretty, despite everything. Strings didn’t usually get along much with humans but she was nice and made Gentem and Fen happy. She was just in a lot of discomfort currently, though she’d said before multiple times she was excited, happy even. Strings couldn’t fathom that, but he didn’t really want to. Gentem was essentially his adopted father. Fennel was more like a best friend.

“Well, she’s fine. _We’re_ fine. Just wish he’d come home.”

“I know. He’s just scared.”

“What’s he gonna do when she pops, hm?”

“Go into a fucking fury, I’m sure. He’s nesting hardcore at the shop.”

Fennel growled. “Should be doin it _here_.”

“I know, Fen. I’ve tried to tell him I can handle the shop. Just with his stress levels and everything else, his cravings are worse and he’s scared he’ll hurt Ali. He doesn’t give himself enough credit.”

“Ne’er has.” Fennel and Gentem had been friends for well over a century. Their closer bond had only begun recently, though. “E’en back then, he was too quick ta believe anythin against himself. Couldn take a compliment. Couldn e’en rec’nize if someone was flirtin with him.” He sat next to Ali on the couch and rubbed her leg. “Obliv’us oaf.”

“Well, I might have inadvertently helped your case. I have a wounded human in my bed right now, and it’s stressing him out already. So, I’m going to see if I can get him out of the shop for a while. Ali, you’re good?”

“Fuck off, Strings. I want my husband.”

“She’s good.” Fennel confirmed. “Send him home.”

“I’ll try.” Strings agreed, and found himself back in the parlor of the Airship, Gentem’s shop. Gentem was very firmly scrubbing down the counter. When he noticed Strings' arrival, he seemed to scrub harder. It was a wonder the counter didn't break from the force.

This would be tricky.

“She’s fine, but she wants you to come home.” He started. Gentem whipped his head up, cocked to one side, but didn’t answer. Strings continued. “You should go. While I get them taken care of, at least.”

Gentem growled in the back of his throat and didn’t answer.

Strings decided now was a good time to check on the human. They were awake now, sitting on the bed. The door behind him was locked, he realized. At his sudden entry, the human screamed and flattened against the wall a bit, and then relaxed somewhat as he made no sudden moves.

He spoke and they yelled again, but quieter. And then, “Wh… what?”

He chuckled. “I said, did a big guy come up here?”

They nodded.

“You locked the door on him." It wasn't a question. They nodded. He sighed. "He wasn’t far gone enough to break it down. We were all lucky, then.” He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “How the fuck did you end up in the woods?”

“I…” They tried to talk but their voice was hoarse. Dehydration. Strings sighed and gestured for them to hold on. He popped out of the room and then right back in, offering them a bottle of red liquid. They held it and just stared at him.

“It’s not blood. It’s juice. Can’t you fucking smell it?”

They flinched and gulped the juice down. “Why do you even have juice?”

“Human clientele, and the owner of the shop has a human mate. The shit ends up here one way or another. Now talk. Are you in danger?”

They blinked at him. “There was something huge outside the door, sniffing the cracks loudly and growling. Yes, I’m in fucking danger.”

“No you’re not. Now, why the fuck were you in the woods?”

They cringed. “Uhm, I was drunk.”

“Duh.”

“I was drunk and thought it would be a good idea to border-hop and… uhm…”

“And?”

They muttered something incoherently under their breath. He still caught it, though he hoped he was wrong.

“Did you… did you just say what I think you did?”

They looked mortified that he heard and understood. “Maybe?”

“You fucking wandered into monster territory, into the game hunting grounds, _looking for a quick fuck_?”

“I was drunk!” They whined.

Strings cradled his face and sighed. “Okay. So here’s the deal. I’m going to lend you a shirt and some shorts, you will shower and wash all that blood off you, and then I’ll take you home. And if I ever see you here again, I won’t be nice.” He glared holes in them. “Did anyone even know you were here?”

They looked away. “No.”

“You. You have a deathwish. You’re lucky we’re not all braindead from cravings, or you’d literally be scraps of meat left to rot in the woods. Remember that next time.”

They nodded, tears in their eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Good. Now get the fuck up and come with me so you can get clean.”

They followed him. “My name’s Shay.”

“Strings.” He responded flatly. “Get in there and I’ll bring you clothes and shit. Gentem has hair stuff in there. I have soap. Don’t use my scrub brush. And don’t take all day, I’m still covered in blood from the hunt.”

They’d noticed. “Thanks.”

“Just hurry up.” He said, and left to get the things.

It wasn’t until the smell of human blood subsided that Strings realized he’d been grinding his teeth. He realized that if he hadn’t got that deer before he found them, he might have hurt them, and shook that thought off. He was recovering. He was good. He was doing great. Didn’t even lick them. Didn’t even think to.

That was a lie. It was a tough habit to kick, and the smell of fear made his magic kick higher. He was calming down now, and he hadn’t even seen how on-edge he’d been. He could still smell some blood on his shirt, so he took it off and threw it in the hamper down the hall with a sigh, and then concentrated on literally anything that wasn’t going to make him hungry.

The human-- Shay-- came out at last, sighing contentedly from being clean. “Thanks again, Strings.”

“Don’t mention it. Let me wash this shit off me real quick, or I’m going to get a lot of stares when I take you home.”

“Uh… is that necessary?”

“You planning on hopping the border barefoot again? _Yeah_ , it’s fucking necessary.”

Shay decided the best place to be in this situation would be behind a locked door so Mr. Growley didn’t get to them if he came up again. Locked into Strings’ room, however, they got nosey, started poking around. Now that the fear was subsiding, they were fascinated.

Strings walked into his room carefully drying the inside of his skull through the massive hole busted into it. “Can’t stand the dripping.” He commented when Shay’s staring got annoying. He was shirtless, all of the broken ribs and chipped bones on display. He hadn’t put magic to the gaps again yet; he didn’t really intend to, since he was about to just put a clean shirt on.

“Let’s go.” He said, offering his hand. Shay was hesitant to reach out, but they realized quickly that it was not because they were afraid.

* * *

The plan had ultimately worked. When Strings came home, there was a note on the register in the shop saying he would be gone until Alison gave birth. Strings didn’t bother calling him to tell him the human was gone. Honestly, it was a relief to get him out of the shop. Strings could take care of it well enough. Just to make sure Strings wouldn’t get overwhelmed, though, Gentem reduced the open hours until he could return.

Strings still got up earlier than he liked to so he could go find meat for his ever voracious friends. Usually he just went to market and bought it, but on other days, he found himself back in the forest, hunting down wild game.

It was on one of these such ventures that strings picked up a familiar scent and groaned in frustration. “What the fuck are you doing out here, Shay?”

They came out from behind a tree, fully dressed and relatively clean this time. Sober too, small favors. “I was… looking for you.”

“What. The fuck. Are you doing?” He repeated. “I told you it’s not safe out here. There’s a reason we have a fucking checkpoint! You’re a walking mountain of crack cocaine in a rehab clinic, and you think it’s okay to just--”

“This was the only place I knew to find you…”

“Yeah, but why the fuck would you…”

They came closer. He backed away. “Strings, I… I just wanted to see you.”

“Is this fucking funny to you?” He spat. “You wanna be fucked by a monster so fucking bad that you’ll risk dying for a good dicking? You even think you’d survive that?”

They flinched. “I mean… if anyone, maybe you?”

“I’m not fucking you. Go home, and don’t come back, or I’ll send Gentem after you.” It was an empty threat, and they knew it.

They stood a little straighter. “You have a shop. Let me go there. I have money.”

He sighed. “I don’t have time for this shit. I have to open the shop in five minutes and I didn’t get any meat for Gentem.”

“I can go get the meat. Where do I need to go and what do I need to buy?”

“Uh, no. Look, I can’t even trust you to not fucking die, what makes you think I trust you to handle my boss’s money and follow directions?”

“Because I want to be rewarded?”

“Fat fucking chance.” He growled.

“Don’t rule it out, I swear I can make it worth your while!”

“I don’t have time for this shit.” He repeated. Why was he still just standing there talking? “Fine! Come on.”

It was the first day that Strings had help in the shop, and though he wished it would be, it wasn’t the last.

* * *

Shay came in every day, now that they knew their way around. Strings could hardly stop them, but it was his fault that he allowed them to assist him. They wore him down, working back to back with him.

Humans felt better about being in a business with human help, apparently, because now that there was a human behind the counter as well, more and more were coming in. They all knew Shay by name. Strings started to wonder if they’d brought them in just to impress him. It didn’t work on him-- but it did for Gentem.

Shay was given an actual job, and permission to crash on the couch upstairs, down the hall from Strings’ room. Past the taint of Gentem’s betrayal, Strings couldn’t fully deny that Shay had their charms about them. They grew on him, like some kind of tumor. He quit being hyper-aware of them in the way he had been, where he was constantly hungry and tense. Now…

Well, now that they were occasionally staying at the shop. Alone. With him. Well… they were starting to smell like him. And with how much Strings had been eating to compensate his appetite, his energy levels were compounding. If he didn’t do something soon, he was bound to go into heat and the nearest fuckable thing was Shay. As much as they would love that, he didn’t really want to kill them, and was afraid he would, with all his sharp edges and such.

Plus, he had no idea just how easy it might be to knock Shay up in that event and holy shit did he not want to deal with that. Alison was unbearable just over the phone. Granted, she was carrying two bear humanoids, but still. He really did not want to have that on his own hands.

A good way to get rid of huge amounts of magic energy? He knew a few methods, but most of them involved sex. And with how aware he was becoming of Shay’s scent, it was quickly becoming an attractive option. It wasn’t like they weren’t cute, either. He just didn’t want to admit as much because they’d read way too much into it.

Fuck, it was getting harder. In more ways than one. He needed help. He couldn’t keep acting like a dick at this rate.

 

 

"Why do you keep trying to pop your bones? You know that fucks with me.”

“I’m sorry. The couch fucked up my neck, and it just-- what are you doing?”

Strings chewed on a popsicle stick, talking through clenched teeth as he dug his fingers into their shoulders. “What the fuck _am_ I doing, Shay?”

They tried to come up with some witty bullshit, but failed, swaying on their feet as he kneaded into their bunched muscles. “Seducing me, that’s what.” They murmured.

He pretended not to hear. He’d been doing that a lot lately. He took a deep breath, and Shay matched it. He spat the popsicle stick out and kept working their muscles, languidly. They let out a tiny murmur that brought a smile to his face. Then, suddenly, he spun them around to face him and kissed them hard. They went braindead.

Strings leaned back, eyelight searching their expression. “Wasn’t that what you wanted?” He asked, roughly.

Shay tried to respond, but the words didn’t come. Strings looked away, as if upset with himself, and walked off to resume working in the back room, where raw meat was prepared. He didn’t come back out until after the customers were all gone and the register was counted down. He threw his apron down and disappeared upstairs. The pipes groaned as he started his shower.

Shay locked the business door and headed upstairs, stride determined. They were already whipping off their shirt and kicking off their shoes, almost tripping on the way down the hall to the bathroom. They stripped down the rest of the way and opened the bathroom door. Part of them was surprised it was even unlocked.

He was singing, so he didn’t react. His voice was rough and dark. Made the hairs stand up on Shay’s arms. They parted the curtain and stepped in. He stopped singing but didn’t move. Shay stepped closer to him, felt the water pelt them through the gaps in his bones, and wrapped their arms around his ribs, crushing their chest to his shoulder blades.

He sighed and didn’t move or speak. It wasn’t an aggravated noise. Wasn’t even a tired one. He sounded content.

Shay wanted to fuck a monster-- Strings in particular-- and trust had certainly been a small part of that, but now there were other feelings involved. Feelings that went beyond desire. This was their friend. Things were more complex than just wanting to see what he could fuck them with. It was a curiosity in what noises he’d make, what faces. What could he do, and what could they do to him?

And now, it was all paying off, and Shay didn’t know whether to feel victorious or anxious.

The water started to get cold before either of them moved. Strings turned the water off and wrapped them both in towels. “Did you count the drawer down properly?”

“Yes, sir.”

He growled. He didn’t want to admit that he liked that, being called “Sir.”

Sadly, they noticed anyway, if their wicked grin was any indication. “Have you any other tasks for me, Sir?”

“Don’t press it.” He opened his bedroom door and ushered them in.

“What if I want to, though?” They teased, jumping up onto his bed and sitting on their knees, legs open, towel barely covering them. “What if I want to press, and touch, and kiss…”

He snarled and threw his towel at them. They tried to catch it and he was on them, pushing them back against the bed. They were laughing, but he was not. He wanted to fucking mark them. They were in his domain now, he was pent up, and they were in his bed, surrounded by his scent. Naked. Delicious.

His.

“I’ve been driving you crazy, haven’t I?” They asked, their voice that soft husky tone that really **got under his skin**. “You didn’t have to wait so long.”

They had no fucking idea. He had barely a tether to himself right now. If he got a taste of their blood, he had no idea if he’d tear them to shreds or not, and was terrified to find out. Maybe if he psyched himself up for it he’d be okay. He just wanted a little. Just a taste.

They kissed him, and he snapped back to himself. He tore the towels away from them and took a moment to look. Not a bruise or bite in sight. The need to mark resurged. For a moment he wondered if he was in heat after all.

_No. I’d already be on them if that was it._

They hungrily pulled him back down to them, wrapping their legs around his jagged hips, gripping onto his clavicles to keep him close. “Please don’t make me beg.” They said.

“Fucking patience would be nice, Shay.” He retorted, and his spectral hands chilled their skin before they could respond, instead drawing a moan from them.

Monster magic had a specific feeling to it, depending on intensity. Considering how much excess magic he’d gained up, Strings was about to show Shay an all new sensation. He had to prepare them for it somehow, in case it gave them some kind of seizure. Not that it happened… often.

He summoned a tongue and before he could lick at their neck or otherwise do something appropriate, they launched up and tried to suck it out of his skull. The resultant shock of magical energy made them flinch, bite down, and yelp as they fell back.

That was as proper a warning as he could give, and it was hilarious, despite the fact that kind of hurt. “Behave yourself?” He prompted, leaning down to scent their neck. And maybe, if he was careful, he could bite a little. It wouldn’t hurt, he just needed a little bit...

His own hands wandered down to tease at their entrance, and he started getting dizzy as he breathed them in. He knew just how easily he could shred flesh-- it was how he hunted. It was absolutely dizzying to know that just beyond his mouth was something he’d been denying himself for years.

Rehab took so long, and the feeling of human flesh and blood stabilizing unruly magic like his was a feeling akin to nirvana.

He was momentarily distracted when they reached down and grabbed his summoned dick. He realized where his train of thought had been taking him and leaned away, focusing on managing his magic levels in a less murdery way.

When they kept trying to grab him closer, he lost his patience and used more magic to bind their hands. This did nothing but excite them further, which he was grateful for. He couldn’t take much more teasing against their pulse. They really didn’t seem to understand that.

When at last he got lined up, he wasted no time. They were ready. He put a hand over their mouth to stifle their screams as he thrust in. The shock of magic firing so many reactions in their body was enough to make their eyes roll back in their head.

Well, now he couldn’t stop. He grabbed their hips and began fucking into them ruthlessly. They babbled incoherently before finally just chanting his name. They were so sensitive. His primal hunger was manifesting further. He wanted more. He wanted to claim, to make them his, right and truly.

He pulled out with a growl, and they tried to pull him back in with the strength of their legs, but he used his magic to flip them over. Now, he pulled their hips backward, impaling them on his cock once more. He still had so much energy to use up, though, and he was getting desperate. Tendrils of magic snuck out from his pelvis, one not much thicker than a finger teasing at their pucker, another one teasing at their clit as they continued to rock back, effectively fucking themself upon him as he grounded himself.

He leaned over them, then, like a beast, and redoubled his efforts. They were suffocating themself in a pillow to keep from screaming. They were close, he could feel it, and fuck if he wasn’t close, too. He wanted to hear them scream, so he grabbed their hair and pulled their head up. The sound of his pelvis slapping their ass accompanied by the lewd noises their bodies made against each other was drowned out for a moment by Shay’s cries.

Strings nuzzled to their ear. “Tell me what you want.” He growled, gripping their hair tighter.

He was expecting them to beg for release, honestly. They had no idea what they were asking for when they begged to be marked. By that point, both of them were too far gone to care. Strings kept hold of their hair and bit into their shoulder. They came hard, and his own release was made at least fifty times better by the taste and feeling of blood in his mouth, mingling with his magic.

The lethargy hit almost immediately. He passed out moments later and woke up with them tangled up in him, on top of his messy covers.

* * *

 

It took insurmountable effort to not eat your partner when they wanted to be eaten so badly. Shay was constantly trying to get him to recreate that first time, but Strings was set on not relapsing for multiple reasons. Sure, it kept his heat at bay, but so would normal sex if he did it enough, not that Shay would complain about that.

But Shay wanted the pain, and the way his magic felt inside them when he’d tasted their blood was apparently amazing enough that they couldn’t live without it.

Regardless, Strings consistently refused to do it again and all attempts to convince him to anyway resulted in bitter arguments and less sex altogether. Shay stopped asking.

 

“What happened?” He appraised the bandage on their hand.

“Cut myself on a broken glass while doing the dishes.” They lied.

“Be more careful.” He said gruffly.

 _Never_. They grinned.

 

The shop was closed early due to monster holiday, and Shay brought out a couple bottles of wine they’d brought from home. Only one had visibly been opened before, so they started off with it. Strings was a nice drunk, really. Turned into a real yes-man. Was always up to party, and usually came up with kinkier things to do when he wasn’t sober.

He’d still staunchly refused them their fun, however. They didn’t see any problem with taking a little bit of blood if it meant both of them felt good afterward! They were consenting, after all. So what was the problem?

They shrugged their indignation off and waited until they’d both polished the bottle off. He had drunk more than they had for once, and the stuff was pretty strong. Shay eyed the other bottle and smiled. “Want more, babe?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. You gon... drink too, or am I drinking alone? You barely drank two glasses. Makin me feel like a lush.”

“Someone’s gotta pack you upstairs if you pass out.”

“Mmn. I’m not gonna pass out. I am gonna fuck you on this table here in a bit though.”

Shay’s skin tingled. _Oh, baby, you have no idea._

Before they pulled the cork, they worried for a second. Would he smell their blood in the wine? He was drunk enough he might not care. And then, they pulled the faux-cork they’d stopped it with, and poured it in both glasses, to appease him and not give him reason for further suspicion.

He didn’t keep them waiting. He almost knocked the glass over, drunk as he was, but managed to pick it up. He sloshed it in their direction. “Cheers, babe. Love ya.” And then he took it all in one gulp.

 

Blood. He smelled blood. Tasted it. Everything hurt.

He managed to open his eyes, found himself laying on the floor in a puddle of blood. His vision was blurry, and his magic felt off-kilter. He couldn’t remember anything. Felt like he'd been stomped everywhere.

There was a severed finger on the floor less than an inch from his face, and blood trailing the ground, as if…

Strings passed out again.

* * *

 

Nica was hard to fool. It came with the territory, being an empath and prophet. When Gentem asked her to look into what had happened, it was relatively easy for her to track down Shay at the nearest monster hospital. They were missing a finger. The others had still been connected by a strand or they’d been able to hold onto them as they’d run from the Airship in the dead of night. The only one that hadn't been able to be grafted on was the one they hadn't managed to bring with them.

“It just seems odd.” Nica observed. “You were together for a long time. Was there any… I don’t know… _context_ around what happened?”

Nica saw the panic flash in Shay’s eyes, noted the way they turned to look away, even though Nica was invisible.

“Nothing.” They said. “I had no warning, no idea he would just… snap.”

Nica observed Shay again. That they hadn’t lost their entire hand when they tried to fight him off in his bloodrage was amazing enough. Nica _knew_ Strings. This was not something he’d do unprovoked; she refused to believe it was. Alison was not so open-minded, but Nica couldn’t help but try to understand, as a human and new mother, that she’d be less likely to take chances.

This meant Strings was bunking with Nica for a while. With how much guilt crashed off him in waves, she had no idea how she’d survive it.

“I don’t buy it.” She said at last. “Whatever you did to him, I hope you can live with the knowledge that you’ve ruined his life.”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

Nica came closer. She could smell the fear on Shay. She looked past it, into Shay’s eyes as the pictures in her head became clearer. Nica’s guts settled at last. “Because I can see you begging him to forgive you in the future.”

Shay leaned away, trying again to look away. Nica opened the door and began to leave.

“Wait.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t tell him yet. I should…”

“You really should.”

“How… how will he react?”

“His father figure and best friend practically disown him, and he’s not allowed to interact with their children. He’s lost his job and his home. His other friends are hesitant to talk to him. And he thinks he’s something he’s not: an uncontrollable vessel of pain and gluttony.” Nica said. “And worst of all to his mind, he doesn’t even have you.”

Shay made themself small in the hospital bed, and this time didn’t stop Nica from leaving.

Nica silently wished a painful death on them, and returned home with a plan to make things better.


	2. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chilled
> 
> It wasn't worth it.   
> I didn't mean it.  
> I can't explain it.  
> Don't come back.
> 
> I want you to heal.   
> Please don't listen. Please don't look.  
> I want you to heal.  
> So don't look back. Don't come back.
> 
> You know, I just wanted to be worth it.  
> You made me feel like I could be.  
> Rattled, Shaken, Beaten, Forsaken  
> You make me feel like me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this is going much better than I thought it would???? im still not used to writing horrortale, but guess what. I'm fucking going for it anyway.
> 
> ALSO I PUT THIS IN THE END NOTES AS WELL AS INSERTED IT INTO THE FIC BC I JUST NEEDED TO SHARE: WE HAVE ART!!!! Thanks again to Whisper, you're such a sweetheart and I'm weeping.
> 
> So who's ready for some G!Paps???? Who's ready to see what Nica has planned?????
> 
> WHO'S READY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH STRINGS?????

You had been talking to Beni for over a year now. They were a bartender for a small pub in Ireland. You’d been penpals since middle school. You’d traded recipes, news, and stories for ages. Once technology had improved, letters were traded for phones, emails, and ultimately video chats. However, lately things had been different.

Beni had met a skeleton. A monster, really. He didn’t talk much, and overall he was as fucking creepy as most of them seemed to be, by the sound of it, but Beni had been harboring him in the back room of their pub for months. Called him Cider. The reason this was a big deal was Beni wanted to travel to America for him, bring him home. Nevermind there was no telling how he’d even got there in the first place.

Beni was asking how far you were from the monster settlement of Topside. You were a good piece away. A long ass drive, or an expensive plane. And then, Beni was asking if you wanted to relocate, even just for a while. They’d done their research. Topside had some of the best wages in America, and they were going to open up a new pub there, with Cider.

You were reluctant, to say the least. Monsters were known to be lovers of meat, to put it lightly. Human meat in particular. Sometimes the news blew up with reports of monsters going crazy and attacking their human lovers. It made you worry for Beni.

Beni asked if they could visit you before heading to Topside, Cider in tow. That was easier to agree to than hauling ass to Topside outright. You agreed.

You didn’t expect for them to show up at your door less than an hour later. You and Beni had video chatted before, and sent pictures back and forth, but you hadn’t even shared your address.

“Sorry, I wanted to warn you.” Beni said, pulling you into a hug as you gawped at them. “Cider was intent on moving quickly, and my phone doesn’t work in the Void.”

“The…?”

“Cider’s… different.” Beni explained, looking up at him. You followed suit, and made a noise in the back of your throat that you were glad you muffled. Screaming would have made for a lovely first impression.

He was tall. Yes. Very. His shoulders were broad under the turtleneck sweater he wore. It was relatively clean and unwrinkled. His skull had cracks in it, and it felt like there was something swimming inside his head, like shadows writhing just in your peripherals. His eye sockets were vacant, his teeth sharp and numerous.

To your horror, his face was emotive. He smiled at you, ducked down slightly in what you figured was a bow. “Pleasure to meet you at last.” He blinked at you slowly, though you wondered how he could. “I apologize sincerely if I’ve overwhelmed you. I mean no harm.”

You stepped back. “Charmed.” you managed to squeak. “Please, come in.” Stiffly, you motioned them both in.

Beni was a little shorter than you, a little rounder, but with bigger arms. They had been hitting the gym, intent to protect Cider from all the attention he got.

You were starting to understand, very quickly, that your initial thoughts were unfounded. Cider spoke for hours about his culinary studies, even about his dreams, though in less detail. You, in turn, showed him your collection of concert paraphernalia, talked to him about music. He found your passion to be enchanting, and you found him to be quite less intimidating when he was sitting cross legged in your floor surrounded by cds, wearing your over-the-ear noise-cancellers and sinking into a look of pure bliss as he listened to one of your mix tapes.

Beni knew your weaknesses, and had come prepared. They brandished their phone and shoved a headphone at you. You hitched a brow but took it, deciding it couldn’t be any worse than the time they tried to get you to listen to a mashup of Ievan Polkka and PonPonPon. Shit, it was going to be in your head again.

The song was primal. Just like you liked. Before the vocals even kicked in you were Into It pretty hardcore, and then when the vocals hit you froze and felt your face flush. You looked up at Beni. “Fuck you.”

“You love me.”

“This is true. Why are you showing me this? Thanks, but like…”

“Wanna know who it is?”

“No shit.”

“Well, here’s the thing: about four weeks ago, someone called Cider through my cell phone. Called herself Miko or something.”

“Nica.” Cider corrected.

“Nica. She said that the person who made this song looks Just Like Him and has the same kind of fucked up dreams. Cider has a brother he never knew about, and he’s a sexy songwriting metal man. And I’m a matchmaker.”

“Beni, no.”

“Beni, yes. I’d feel better knowing you were somewhere where you get paid more than you do here, living in a better neighborhood where no one’s safe or happy. You’re not happy here, sweetie. You never were.”

“Beni, this is huge, I can’t just…”

“I already have real estate tucked away. Apparently Nica was willing to help me arrange for the shop next door to hers. I have no idea what her motives are, but it was cheap, and everyone wins! You’d even have a home. With me!”

“Beni… if it sounds too good to be true…”

“Don’t give me that shit. Nica wants Cider to come down there to meet his brother. Cider won’t let anything happen to me, and I won’t let anything happen to you. Please don’t make me do this alone.”

“Oh my god, you can’t just guilt me like that.”

“Please.” Beni stuck their lip out.

“I fucking hate you right now.”

“Can I help you pack?”

“I’m not agreeing to this! I’ll go for a few days, help you get settled in, and then however the fuck Cider got you two here so quickly, he can get me back home.”

“So you can pack the rest of your stuff. Got it. Thanks, sweetie.”

“Fuck you.”

“Where’s your nearest Applegreen?” They paused. “Or is it Piggy Wiggle or some shit?”

“Piggly Wiggly, and no we don’t have one here.” You sighed. 

 

* * *

Sunrise was kind to Topside. The mist settling on the streets was cloying, but there was no sourness to it. The stars over the city were visible well into the dawn hours. You helped unpack once you got your bearings from traveling through the Void. 

Ultimately, since you felt like you were getting in the way, you just grabbed a broom and started sweeping all the dust and cobwebs out before Beni’s general clutter got in the way. Cider was amazing, summoning nearly a dozen extra hands, doing all the heavy lifting while overseeing where everything was put. Beni was going through everything.

“Hey, sweetie, can you play some music for us to jam to?” They asked finally. “Silence is killing me.”

You agreed eagerly and hooked up your phone to a bluetooth speaker you usually kept with you. You started blaring music, not seeing the slight grimace on Cider’s face, or Beni’s obvious amusement. 

Next door, Nica woke up smiling.

 

* * *

“Nica, I told you, I’m not interested in playing meet-n-greet with the new neighbors. They got humans, and I’m not going for it. Can I just… go visit Grillby instead?”

“No, you’re coming to welcome them to Topside. If you don’t, I’m going to tell you your fucking future and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Dammit, Nica…” Strings sighed. “I really wish you’d leave my future out of this.”

“Strings, I’ve gotta get you out of here somehow. You’ve been writing angsty music for months. And before you start, yes I _know_ how sad you are. So very sad. Well, being cooped up on my fold-out couch will do absolutely nothing for that! So get the fuck up, take a shower, and come with me! Hop fucking to it!”

Strings was hesitant to say the least. At Nica’s behest, he’d been making more music, putting it out online, but it was all the same-- or so he felt. Raw, one-sided bullshit that he didn’t know how to refine. He’d been a mess, not just because of what had happened with Shay, but because they’d refused to talk to him, leaving town. He hadn’t even gotten to beg them for forgiveness.

Nica didn’t seem concerned about this. She was intensely pissed, but he had no idea why. Shay wasn’t under any obligation to face him again. If they wanted to avoid him forever, he could hardly blame them. He just wished there was some way he could take back what he’d done, and it was leading him down a darker path with his music.

Nica dusted her specifically-tailored light-wash jeans off at the door while she waited for Strings. She’d carefully painted her horns and face silver, so she was more easily visible and less frightening than her usual grey and red body paints (and less disorienting altogether than her normal invisibility). She wore a draped shawl in lieu of a shirt, since it wasn't like anyone could see her body anyways, it was just so the movements of her arms would be noticed if she gestured.

“You’re dressing up.” Strings noticed, coming out of the bathroom in an old tanktop and ragged black jeans that were torn up and worn through, revealing his bones beneath. 

“You look better than you did. I just don’t want to frighten anyone.”

“We’re monsters, Nica.” He snapped, pushing past her. “They fucking _should_ be afraid.”

Nica sighed. “You need to lighten the fuck _up_ , friend.”

“Let’s just go, unless you wanna paint me up like a goddamn sugar skull so I don’t scare the babies.”

“Yeah, let’s go, edgelord.” _You got a date with destiny, bitch._ She smirked at him. _And I’m so glad my parents didn’t name me Destiny, after all._

 

* * *

Beni had been excited all morning, gushing about how they were so excited to go out and meet everyone. Cider, himself, was anxious about his brother. Knowing that he was so near was frightening for him, he said. He’d been dreaming of this man, in a way, for years. He had no idea what to expect and was afraid they wouldn’t get along.

It somehow fell on you to reassure him. “You’re a better brother already than I have, so you’ve got that going for you.”

“You have a brother, human?”

“Yes. He’s a dick. We don’t talk about Freddie, okay? Just know that as long as you’re even worried if you’re a good person, that means you care enough to get better. Means you’re not unredeemable. Now we can only hope he’s also not a prick. I’d hate for you to come all this way to find he’s a tool.”

There was silence. “I hadn’t considered that.”

Shit. “I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?”

“Someone’s coming.” Cider straightened up and stopped breathing, staring straight ahead at the doors as two figures approached. Beni came closer, abandoning their task, to hold Cider’s hand. You were between him and the door, and weren’t sure exactly what to do, but decided that opening the locked doors would be a good idea. 

“Hiiiiii, I’m Nica!” The first one said as she came in, her oddly-shaped claw feet sounding like stilettos as she stalked in. Her voice was cheery, but you had no idea what you were looking at. Frankly, she was way too much to take in. You tried not to stare.

Behind her, another skeleton hesitated at the door, making eye contact with you. He did indeed resemble Cider, with the cracks on his face, but there was a huge hole in his skull, too, and whereas Cider’s eyes were bereft of light, this man had light in the socket furthest from the splintered hole. It was piercing as he studied you.

And then his attention flickered inside, and he met Cider’s eyes and froze on the threshold of the shop.

“Strings, don’t be rude, come here!” Nica hissed.

Cider stepped forward and Nica encapsulated his hand in both of hers, shaking it emphatically. Not that you’d see that, since her hands were invisible, but you could surmise that was what happened by the way her shawl moved in time with his hand as she nearly wrenched it from him. “Nice to meet you, finally!” She said.

“Nica, you knew about this? Who is this?” Strings grabbed her shoulder and tried to spin her, but Nica didn’t budge.

“Don’t be rude.” She repeated. She looked back to Beni and Cider and grinned, showing a hollow pit behind her lips. She hadn’t painted her teeth, after all. That was for the best. “I’ll leave you to catch up! I’m right next door in the music supply store, so please feel free to visit whenever. For a cup of sugar or what-have-you.”

“Thank you so much, Nica.” Beni said.

“Don’t mention it, friendo. Do take care of my house guest. He’s a bit crass, but he’s a real…” Nica paused on her way out the door. She looked at you, dead in the eyes. Her smile widened, and you felt your stomach knot up. “You. You were not supposed to come yet. I’m glad you decided to give us a shot.” She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a card, flourishing it before taking your hand in one of hers and folding your fingers around it. She winked.

The door shut behind her and you just stood there. You looked at Beni. “What the fuck just happened?”

Strings was digging his metacarpals into his sockets. “She does that. Whatever you do, don’t ask her your future.”

“Why? Is she wrong?”

“No. But you’ll wish she was.” He said. 

Cider had let go of Beni’s hand and came forward, closer to Strings. “I am Cider. I know this must be very… overwhelming… but I think I might be your brother.”

Strings gave a graceless snort. “Yeah. You have the nightmares too?”

Cider seemed a bit reluctant to speak all of a sudden. 

You and Beni made eye contact. Beni nodded. You stepped in, standing just off to the side between the brothers. “Hey guys, how does a couple rounds of drinks and some Cards Against Humanity sound?”

Cider blinked at you for a moment before the tension caught him and he nodded almost imperceptibly. “That would be a lovely diversion.”

Strings looked up at Cider for a long moment. “I can’t drink alcohol around humans.”

Cider nodded. “I would rather drink something virgin, myself.”

“Virgin it is, babe.” Beni said, reaching into a box and pulling out a container of instant cider mix they’d bought specifically for him. “Strings, what do you like?”

Strings still hadn’t looked at you since he entered the door. “I don’t care as long as it’s not alcohol.”

The brothers sat down, the tension still rolling off them both in waves. You joined Beni in the kitchen. They were floundering. “Oh my god, what have I done?”

“Relax.”

“No, you don’t understand, Cider has been talking about this guy for so long. In his dreams, he was this short, lazy doofus who was quicker with a joke than a barb and now…” They sighed. “He’s heartbroken, I can fucking see it already. If this Strings asshole doesn’t make my baby laugh Right Fucking Promptly, I’m going to rip his shin bone off and beat him to death with it.”

You gave Beni a hug, and to your astonishment, they were literally about to tear up right there. “Shit, calm down. It’s gonna be okay.”

“No, it’s not!” They wailed into your shirt. “I shouldn’t have encouraged this. He was scared to come, and now it’s all come true and it’s my fault!”

From the other room came the raucous sound of laughter, followed by a hoarse, loud bray that more closely resembled coughing. “Oh my god they’re laughing.” Beni breathed.

“Wait, _that’s_ what he sounds like when he laughs?” You followed Beni as they tore through the kitchen like a bat out of hell. 

The brothers were indeed laughing now. Strings was the first to stop, as he looked over at you and Beni. Beni took their seat next to Cider, which left you standing awkwardly next to Strings. You bit your lip and looked around. “I uh…”

“I’ll try _really hard_ not to bite you.” Strings said wryly. 

“It’s not that…”

Everyone was looking at you now. You swallowed your words and sat down. Beni was absolutely glowing. And sure enough, they opened their mouth. 

“Beni, _no_!” You begged in a whisper, preparing to kick them under the table.

“So, Strings. My friend here loves your music. Loves to be serenaded. You should try it right here so we can see them get all nervous.”

Strings looked at you. “Oh, ok. That makes more sense. I’m flattered, but my voice is kinda wrecked right now. That’s why it’s all shitty and raspy right now.”

_You mean, that’s why it’s all fucking sexy right now._

“Honestly, all you gotta do is talk.” Beni said, and now you did kick them. 

Strings looked just as uncomfortable as you. Despite that, after you all got to talking, he seemed like a pretty nice guy, just really intense and kind of snarky.

It wasn’t until later when Strings decided he should go back to Nica for a while. He stopped at the door before motioning Cider closer. “Right now, I’m sleeping on a couch at a friend’s house because I made a mistake. I know we’ve only known each other for a day, but I wanna impress on you not to make the same mistake I did.”

You didn’t hear what else he said, but that night over a dinner that Cider lovingly cooked, he was cheerful. “It seems my fears were unfounded after all. I wish I could have met him years ago, if it wouldn’t have interfered with my finding my Beni-human.”

Beni giggled. “So you’re happy here?”

“Incredibly so. You?”

“I understand how alienated you felt in my town now, but at least everyone’s friendly here!” They said.

Cider laughed. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to unhear it, how it sounded like rust and pain. Beni was smiling, though. Perhaps love erased the terrifying aspects of this stuff. 

You wouldn’t know.

 

* * *

Nica knew, of course, exactly when you’d come to the shop, which is why she left that day to go do errands. Strings was knowledgeable enough about music, being a musician himself, and so putting him in charge of the store was completely inconspicuous. 

So when you came in, looking for Nica and found Strings tuning one of the guitars, you held your breath and contemplated backing out of the store. The bell had already gone off, though, and Strings was putting the guitar down to turn around. His smile froze. “Oh.”

“Yeah…” 

“Should have known.”

You stared at the ground. “Should I go or…”

He sighed. “No, she’ll kill me if I don’t play her game.”

You looked around. “What game?”

Strings’ mouth pressed into a hard line. “I’m fairly sure Nica wants you and I to date.”

You blinked at him. “Beni would like that, too.”

He groaned. “It’s really gonna be like that, isn’t it?”

You fidgeted, looking anywhere else. The silence drug on. As close as you were to him, you could smell him. Cedar oil and fabric softener. You gulped. “Maybe… we could beat them at their own game.”

He grunted and looked up at the camera. Quieter, he asked, “How do you think?”

You still didn’t look at him, but you didn’t need to. With the quieter tone came proximity. Energy in waves coming from him, making you dizzy. “We could… pretend? So that way they’d get off our backs?”

Finally you looked up at him as he mulled it over. He nodded, grinned down at you. “You a good actor?”

You hitched an eyebrow at him. “Are you?”

His smile widened, and you felt your heart jump into your throat. His voice was darker. “We’ll see, won’t we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is now a Neighbors, Fake Dating fic now. 
> 
> BY THE WAY THIS HAS [FANART](http://with-a-whisper.tumblr.com/post/175269124460/heres-beni-and-cider-from-zaiyo-s-horror-tale)???? Please go give Whisper some love, and also, im about to go to the previous chapter and insert their picture of Shay!!! 
> 
> I legitimately love all of you, hope you enjoyed this and don't hate me too much still bc of last chapter. G'night frends.


	3. Rebuilding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shay's Diary:
> 
> I still dream about him. It's confusing. It always ends with me being ripped apart by something I can't see. I'm guessing Nica, but she was never this scary before. I don't want to see Nica again, but the only other way to get to him would be through Gentem. I don't know if I'm ready yet. Maybe I can get Alison on my side. One human to another. If I can get her, I'll be set.
> 
> These nightmares have gotta end soon or I'm gonna kill someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nevermind the summary, who wants some Mutual Pining????? Every time there's a line separating events, assume a month's gone by. 
> 
> friendly reminder that if anything needs to be tagged feel free to let me know! 
> 
> This is going so well and yet again we have art from our lovely [Whisper](http://with-a-whisper.tumblr.com/post/175427470320/another-bit-of-art-for-zaiyo-s-tainted-fic-a).

Strings wouldn’t have agreed. Not only was he not really over everything that happened with Shay, but you were human too. Sure, if he just didn’t drink around you or explore sexual shit, maybe he wouldn’t lose control, but he honestly didn’t know what happened that night, other than he must have gotten blackout drunk.

Being close to you was a different kind of torture. He was making himself anxious, reminding himself that he was unable to be trusted. And putting your safety in the balance felt really selfish. But he felt that he needed to prove to himself that he could change, that he could adapt. That he could resist.

You, on the other hand, were absolutely shocked at yourself. Even if this were a fake situation to make it less awkward for the both of you and your respective friends, you couldn’t deny that it was going to benefit you more than him. Beni wasn’t subtle, after all, and so Strings _had_ to know that you were even somewhat into him.

You just had to make sure you didn’t fuck up and get too into this little act. Fact of it was, you couldn’t act for shit when you were this nervous around him. You couldn’t imagine getting comfortable enough to crack a shitty joke around him, much less casually pretend to be dating him.

Even so, Strings went back to tuning the guitar and invited you to sit around and wait for Nica if you wanted. In the meantime, you could discuss what the plan was.

As it turned out, Strings had a plan at the ready. The two of you would pretend to start dating, maybe go out somewhere and eat food. This would be easy if you discovered at least one thing in common with each other aside from having friends who liked to play matchmaker. And then, the two of you would have a nice little breakup. Just the simple kind where everyone was cool afterward. And then you could each rub it in your friends’ faces.

As far as fantasies went, it was nice enough. But anything can look nice on paper if you’re good enough at bullshitting.

 

 

You and Strings found similar interests beyond music and friends-- in gaming. This happened relatively quickly. Nica was immensely happy to hear Strings was going on a date with you already, for a nice walk down the strip in open daylight. If this seemed sudden and strange, she gave no indication.

On the strip, Strings showed you all manner of restaurants, businesses, but when you stumbled across a cursed-looking pawn shop, you demanded he take you to it. He shrugged and admitted he’d never gone there, himself, because his ex-girlfriend worked there, and she hadn’t spoken to him since Gentem disowned him. 

Since you didn’t know anything about that other than he used to date the cashier, that wasn’t enough to dissuade you. You said it was a good chance to show her he was doing fine now, dating again, even. He didn’t want to explain right now, especially out on the streets, so he just agreed and let you tug him in.

Gixie had been watching the two of you hovering outside before entering, and so she didn’t respond at all when you came in. Strings didn’t look at her. You just grinned sweetly up at her, unwilling to let yourself get intimidated by her large, opaque black eyes or scarlet skin.

You did not seem to feel the tension in the shop at all. Strings was a little irked at you for that, but then when he noticed you glancing up at him and smirking, he realized it was just as you said. It was the facade he needed to put out there.

Without even knowing it, you’d just given him the perfect foundation to mend the bridge with his found family. Gixie still talked to Gentem. If he was seen harmlessly dating a human, maybe he’d at least talk to him again. It was worth a shot.

Strings ignored Gixie’s stare after that, and followed you around with what he hoped looked like a stricken smile. When you found the game displays, you pointed one of the second-hand systems out and told him about how you’d had one as a kid. He listened and suggested you buy it, that you could hook it up at Nica’s house and he’d play it with you.

Purchase in bag, you followed him out of the shop. As the two of you walked, you chuckled. “Think she bought it?”

“There’s no telling.” He admitted. “I hope so.”

 

 

Hooking the system up in and of itself was an act of nostalgia. You settled on the opposite end of the couch from him and passed him the second controller. “You ever gamed before?”

“No.”

“Oooh, ‘bout to rock your world.”

He scoffed. “How exciting can it really be?”

He was a fucking natural at fighting games. And with this discovery came a pride, a nearly sickening arrogance. You took your shoe off and threw it at him once in aggravation. He just stuck his tongue out at you and growled. "We making this a strip challenge?”

He certainly knew your weaknesses already. 

You were just as content to watch him play single-player games. He was so intent on them, and when he got to tasks that didn’t need too much concentration, he’d talk a bit. He seemed less standoffish with the controller in his hands.

With how quietly he spoke, however, you had to sit closer on the couch to him. When he noticed how you still kept distance between you and him, he laughed. “We’re dating. What, you’re afraid I’ll bite? Sorry, I’m not interested in human meat anymore.”

There was a very clear double entendre there, and it almost felt like a slap. However, it worked, you moved closer, if only for the illusion. “We a convincing couple yet?” You muttered.

“Maybe. How do I beat this puzzle?”

It didn’t take too much time for him to talk to you about his past. Or, well, some of it. He’d had friends, people he considered family, since he didn’t have Cider at the time. As far as you could surmise, something happened after he broke up with Gixie, and whatever it was kept them from talking to him again. 

Must have been one nasty breakup. You didn’t think it was a good idea to press. If he wanted to tell you, he would. 

“So, what happens when Nica starts asking if we’ve _boned_?” You asked.

“She won’t ask. She doesn’t want to know. Sex-repulsion, and all that.”

“Oh, ok then. Beni will still ask.”

“Turn the tables on them. They’re shier than you.”

“I’ll have to do that when Cider’s not around. Like, it took awhile for him to warm up to me, but now he won’t shut up. He’s awesome, he’s just. Really enthusiastic with the talking. If I expressed interest in his and Beni’s sexual habits, I’m terrified I’d learn way more than I’d need.”

“Why would you need it?” He prodded.

You floundered for a second too long. “Exactly!” 

 

* * *

 

Strings amassed a collection of games and consoles, and over the months, the two of you played. It wasn’t that you did this every day, it just happened more often than not. On days you weren’t gaming together, you ended up hanging out together at Cider’s cafe, which Beni had named Culture Shock, and had lined with knick knacks from Cider’s travels as well as their own decorations from home.

Cards with Beni and Cider were a frequent thing-- as were movie nights with Nica. Everyone piled up together in Nica’s living room. Beni would sit in the recliner, Cider sitting in their lap. 

Nica would sit in the floor in front of the coffee table, since she wasn’t going to obscure the tv anyway. And you and Strings would sit on the couch. 

Due to the looks you got from Beni if you didn’t try to snuggle up with Strings, it became absolutely commonplace for you to fall asleep with your head in his lap during movie times. To keep up appearances, Strings would play with your hair sometimes. It was soft, and he marveled at how his hands didn’t get stuck in it. At some point, he started to do it absently, felt strange if he didn’t card through your hair.

Once, just to fuck with everyone, you pretended you had a little fight, and sat as far from each other on the couch as possible. His fingers twitched a bit during the movie, and when you fell asleep, he didn’t stop himself from staring at you. It was only friendly concern that your shoulders and back would ache. That’s all it was.

It sure sold the story to Beni and Cider, though. 

 

 

“Y’know. I’m glad Nica gave me some time.” Strings said once while you took a turn gaming.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she gave me a good six or seven months to heal before she dropped you into my lap.”

“You think she intentionally orchestrated me?”

“I’d be stupid not to. Remember what she said that first day you met her?”

“Okay, yeah, that’s pretty suspect of her.”

“Yeah, I’m not _that_ fucking paranoid.”

“They’re all out to get you, Strings.”

“Fuck, but I wore the tin-foil and everything!”

You died in the game because you were too busy laughing at him. When you finally caught your breath you looked up at him and grinned. “I know this is all fake and shit, but. I’m glad I came here. It was worth it.”

Strings felt something in his ribs clench. He ruffled your hair roughly. “Yeah. I’m glad you did too. Think you just might be the best friend I’ve ever had.”

 

* * *

 

Strings had managed to find a copy of Shadow of the Colossus at your behest. You had expressed a need to replay it, and so he actively looked for it, went so far as to ask Gixie if she’d seen a copy anywhere.

The look on your face when he booted the game up made the awkward interactions worth it. He’d managed to surprise you. It made him feel all fuzzy and shit.

You’d insisted on him playing. He tried-- he really did-- to get into the gameplay, but he had no idea what was going on. 

And so when he made a noncommittal noise and passed the controller onto you, you took it upon yourself to play through the first bit of the game before ranting wildly to him about how the game was the most passionate love story ever.

He again expressed doubt. Seeing you get fired up was adorable. He listened as you spun the story for him, gesticulating wildly.

"And at the end! Shit." You finally sank back on the couch. "They couldn’t even be together."

"How’s that a great story, then?"

"Because it’s about the _devotion_. It’s about the idea of someone saying ‘I won’t allow this to be reality.’ He took up a sword he didn’t know how to wield against _gods_! Gods he should _never_ have considered fighting. And yet the love he felt for someone was so compelling he felt there was no other choice. He would rather sacrifice his reality to bring her back than live in a world without her." You paused and let yourself catch your breath.

Strings looked at the screen. 

Your voice was quieter now. "How frightening is it, to love that deeply that you’d sacrifice yourself piece by piece knowing that you might never see those efforts reach fruition?"

"You get poetic as hell sometimes." He muttered, but he couldn’t deny it was a heavy train of thought. 

You smiled. "I think about it alot." You admitted. "I wonder what it would be like to be loved that much. Or to love that deeply."

Strings took the controller, and let you guide him through the game. He even let you rant about how the reason Wander, the player character, had no idea what he was doing with a sword was because he was probably an archer. ~~He could shoot straight through a storm, shoot while standing on his horse’s back as it sprinted! WHO CAN DO THAT?!~~

He might not love this game as much as you did, but he was certainly getting his money’s worth. And that was what mattered.

 

* * *

 

Movie night. Strings wanted to lay down on the couch this time. So did you. You compromised and both lay down. You tried not to make it weird but you could feel something humming behind your head in his ribcage. It lulled you to sleep.

Strings tried, he really did, but Beni was watching. So he put his arm around you and you let out a little hum. Strings lay his head down, and tried to watch the movie like that, trying to focus on anything that wasn’t you.

He tried not to think about how nice you smelled, or about how it felt kind of right to have his arm around you. He felt hungry, but honestly… he just didn’t want to move, didn’t even want to open his eyes now. 

Beni got plenty of adorable pictures, but they waited until after Strings was very obviously asleep, spooning you. He had the dorkiest little smile on his face.

“I want a print of that yesterday.” Nica said. “When he’s famous, I’m gonna get him to sign it.”

“He’s gonna be famous?” Cider asked. 

“Not really. Not like Mettaton-famous. Just like ‘hey it’s that one dude.’ kind of thing.”

“Mediocrity. That’s kinda sad.” Beni said, taking another picture. “He’s pretty good. He could do better.”

Nica shrugged. “That’s up to him. Just in case he changes his mind, print yourself out a few extras and make him sign them. They could buy you a business vehicle.”

Cider laid a kiss to the top of Beni’s head. “We should be going.” He said. “Would you like for me to extricate the human from--”

“Leave them.” Both Nica and Beni said, overlapping. “Let them both sleep.” Nica added coyly. 

 

When you woke up, it was firmly pressed against him on the couch. You were drooling on a couch cushion. Your shirt had ridden up-- so had your shorts. You had a wedgie from the ninth circle of hell, and you needed badly to fix it. You just didn’t see how you were going to do that without waking him. 

You also needed to piss. You were going to have to do the unthinkable-- you were going to have to get up from being cuddled. And, fuck, did you not really want to. Neither did he, apparently, as when you tried to wriggle your way off the couch, his arm around you tightened and he nuzzled against your hair, drawing a deep breath and letting it out as a contented sigh.

_I’m going to end up pissing myself._ You thought to yourself, coming to terms with the fact you were not getting up until he let you.

Somehow you managed to relax enough to fall back asleep partially, bladder be damned. And then he took a deep breath through his mouth, inhaled your hair, and choked from ticklishness. This scared the hell out of you, and you rolled off the couch, hitting your head on the coffee table.

It was a strange way to wake up. But at least you didn’t piss yourself.

 

* * *

 

Beni and Cider had gone off for a date, so you and Strings intended to just hang out in the cafe. You’d taken the chance to bake a fuckton of pizza rolls and had two little bowls full of steak sauce and hot sauce. 

Normally, this would be one of the nights where everyone would play cards. Playing one-on-one wasn’t appealing though.

“So, Strings. I got a question.”

“Shoot.”

"So… you never drink, I know, but would you be uncomfortable if I did?”

He paused. Shit, he missed drinking, but ever since that night, he just couldn’t do it without anxiety that knotted up his non-existent stomach. “As long as you don’t get too wasted, I’m good.” He said.

His expression worried you. “That’s fine. I don’t drink often, but I feel safe enough around you.”

“Heh. Yeah.” He grinned down at his hands.

“So, how about, instead of drinking, we do something else?”

“Whatcha got in mind?”

“Hold on.” You got up and rushed into the other room. You came back with three big boxes of chocolates. “So get this: When Cider and Beni started dating, Cider read that when you start liking someone you get them chocolates and flowers. Beni was so fucking flattered they couldn’t tell him they’re allergic to chocolate.”

“Oh, shit.”

“So they just hid it somewhere. And Cider kept getting it for them. And they kept hiding it. So they’ve got like ten pounds of _really good chocolate_ , because your brother apparently can't _not_ just go all out, just sitting around and I feel like regretting being born.”

“Did they say we could eat it?”

“They said they didn’t care if we ate it _off_ of each other. As long as we put a dent in it when Cider’s not around.” You looked at him. “You like chocolate?”

“I’m **fond** ant of it.”

“That was terrible.”

“Yeah, I’m a little rusty.”

“No, you’re just awful.” You gave his shoulder a playful shove and threw him a box. “Let’s make it more interesting.”

He whipped the lid off the heart-shaped box. “Whatcha got in mind?”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I don’t like all the flavors in every box.”

“What kind don’t you like?” He asked, as if this were some strange phenomena he’d never heard of.

“I mean… do you have favorites?”

“Orange creme.” He admitted. “I don’t like caramel much because of how it sticks, but I don’t _hate_ it.”

“Okay. So, here’s the deal. We’re gonna play truth or dare. Let’s split the boxes between us-- but for each turn of truth or dare, we get to take a chocolate from each other.”

“You take my Orange Creme, we’ll have problems.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. “We have a deal?”

“Why the fuck not? Chocolate, games, regret.”

"You’re not gonna get a stomach ache from this.” You pointed out. “So you don’t get to say _shit_ about regret.”

“No, but food feeds magic levels.”

“So?”

“Know what happens when magic levels get too high?”

“...No?”

“Look it up sometime.” He said, and gestured for you to open your box. 

You did. “So, one thing. Any time you win a chocolate from me, I get to throw it into your head through that big hole.”

He laughed. “Fuck you. If that’s so, you have to let me throw them directly into your mouth.”

“You never miss, so it’s not impressive!”

“If you miss and my chocolate goes in the floor I’m gonna be pissed!”

Both of you settled down and picked out a chocolate to trade. “You go first.” You said.

“Truth or dare?”

You were suddenly overcome with how badly this could go. “Truth?”

“Out of all the games you’ve played, if you could rewrite any of them, which one would it be and what would you change?”

“Fuck, couldn’t you have gone with a simpler question?”

“Need you to talk for a while so I can chew that chocolate savoringly.”

“Fair enough.” You tossed him an orange creme, and he actually moved his head to catch it in the hole. You were shocked into laughing for a moment, especially when he whipped his head and then opened his mouth to show the caught candy on his tongue.

He reeled his tongue back in and made an appreciative noise. “Talk.”

_Oh yeah._ “Final Fantasy X-2. Remember how I said that all the buildup for the first one was a complete payoff? And the second one felt like a journey to move on, but was cheapened by ending with a retcon of the first one’s ending? Honestly, it’s all shit. It could have been executed so much better.”

He stealthily slid another of his chocolates into his mouth. “How would you change it?”

“I guess… I mean, I’m glad there was a happy ending. I just… wish it didn’t feel like a cop-out. I don’t know how I’d change it.” You paused. “Also, at the end of the first game he made peace with his dad who he’d hated and yet idolized. But in the end of the second game, he trades a literal peaceful afterlife to be with someone he knew for maybe a month tops. I mean… Sweet, but…”

“Yeah, I get you.” He nodded and leaned forward. “Your turn. I choose dare, because I have nothing to fear.”

You’d had this in mind when you suggested it. “Wear your underwear on your head and go outside the shop.”

He reached over and stole one of your chocolates before getting up and walking outside. He extended his open arms, did a full circle spin, and then came right back inside.

“You are way too smug about that.” You said.

“You just wanted to see my underwear.” He taunted. “Beat you at your own game. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Coward.” He threw a chocolate at you. You managed to catch it with your mouth through sheer luck. “Here’s a good one: What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh, yikes.” You said through a mouthful of nougat. You threw another chocolate at him. The throwing was much more fun than the questions. “Well… honestly, I was scared before you showed up that you were going to be a prick. My experience is there’s always a good sibling and a bad sibling. So, I was fully prepared for you to be a dick. And at first, I thought I was right.”

He hummed. “When did you change your mind?”

“One question at a time, dingus.”

He groaned. “Fine. Truth, this time.”

“Now, who’s the coward?” You crowed. “How about some more of the same? What was _your_ first impression of me?”

He shrugged. “Nothing near as detailed as yours. Nica said we were visiting a human next door, humans are humans.” He wasn’t looking at you when he said this. Finally, his grimace gave way. “Okay, fine. As soon as I saw you, I suspected Nica.”

“Why?”

“What was that about one question at a time?”

“Ughhhh.” Now the two of you were just passing the boxes back and forth and shoveling chocolate into your mouths while talking. “I guess, dare.”

He grinned wickedly. It made your stomach flip. “Recreate the most awkward thing to ever happen to you in pantomime. Or-- since I’m nice, I’ll give you a choice-- admit your most shameful fantasy.”

You groaned. “Look, I’m not up for the second hand embarrassment of either of those.”

“You chose the game.” He shrugged. 

“Why do you wanna know my fantasy so badly?”

“Why did you want to see my underwear?”

You were silent. “Okay. Okay. So, I go to a party where no one knows me.”

“Which is this?”

“Well it’s obviously no pantomime.”

“Oooh, true enough.”

“Shut up and listen.” You snapped playfully, face hot. “So at this party, they have karaoke. So I go in hard, and I sing my fucking heart out. Afterward, a someone approaches me. They’re tall and smell nice, and they ask if I’ll sing with them. And I accept. And so, we get up on stage, and it’s a song I actually know, and I fucking rock it, and so do they.”

“I don’t see how this is shameful.”

“And then they take me home and fuck me against the wall...” You trailed off. 

He went silent. “Let’s move on.”

“Do let’s.” You muttered, looking down at your lap, trying really hard to control the temperature of your face. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“What’s the deal with Gixie? Like. It was never appropriate to bring up before. Probably isn’t now, either… but I mean, I’ve seen how you act around her and I know there’s a lot of drama. I’ve been curious for a while now.” You paused. “But, if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”

He shook his head. “Gixie and I were friends for a while. Gentem introduced us when I started working in music. She taught me how to mix my samples and stuff. I wasn’t comfortable being with humans, neither was she, and we spent enough time alone that it was just the natural progression of things.” 

He paused with a chocolate halfway to his mouth. “It was more of a casual thing. She found this human she liked, and they were a better fit for each other. I didn’t blame her. Honestly, the longer we were together, the less we matched up, y’know? We got along much better after the breakup, and Trevor’s a great guy. Treats her right.”

That wasn’t what you expected. “Why don’t you guys talk anymore then?” You asked.

Strings’ face hardened, and he looked away. “I’d rather not talk about that, if you don’t mind.”

He still didn’t trust you with that information, you figured. He’d only been “with” you for, what, four months now? You couldn’t expect him to tell you everything, “best friend” or no. Still, you kind of felt a bit hurt at that. You couldn’t think of anything you’d refuse to tell him.

“You still wanna keep playing? Ask or dare me anything, I’m up for it.” You said. “Sorry for bringing in something that heavy.”

He grinned. “Nah, it’s good.” He paused for a second. “Hmm. Beni said you like my voice. I dare you to imitate me. Make me laugh.”

You felt your face explode in heat. “I’m going to kill them.” Then you cleared your throat and shook yourself, doing your best to get into some persona of him. “Lemme practice first.”

“Go for it, this will be good.”

You mimicked his pose, slouching with your knees spread and feet firmly planted, leaning on the table with one arm and the other one propped on your leg, dangling down near your crotch. You made some weird facial expressions before settling into something you hoped looked sultry and devious with a hint of “i will kill you slowly.”

He looked like he was already trying not to smile.

You couldn’t stop now. You cleared your throat again and sighed. In as deep and dark a voice as you could muster, you growled, “I go commando.”

He tried so hard not to laugh but if there was one thing Strings sucked at, it was containing himself. 

However, you watched as his face soured. He sighed, finally and spoke. “Hey, I don’t want you to think I’m hiding anything from you. I really want to tell you some time. It’s not that I don’t trust you or something, it’s just… I’m not proud of it. And even though it isn’t exactly recent, I just… it’s too fresh to talk about, still.”

“Strings, it’s fine. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” You put a hand over his. “It’s not like it’s really any of my business, okay? If it were important for me to know, you’d have told me.”

That seemed to make it worse. He pulled his hand out from under yours. “Yeah.” He muttered, and then put on that smile you knew by now was mostly fake. “No worries. I mean, not like we’re _actually_ dating or something.”

“Yeah.” You breathed. You felt like crying, but you resisted, swallowing the heavy feeling in your throat. “That would be weird.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, I'm hoping this next chapter will be the Real Last One. If you know me by now, you know this is just gonna keep getting longer. Hopefully I mean it this time when I say I'll be wrapping it up in the next chapter. We'll see.


	4. Pretending (A.K.A: The scenes I forgot weren't in the previous chapter.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Strings, I really need you to be a little more subtle. I know you have a lot of magic pent up, but... you don't have to do that on my couch."
> 
> A pregnant pause.
> 
> "Do it on Beni's couch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know I literally just posted a chapter five seconds ago but................ oh well. i went into my doc and realized i had A LOT of stuff I could post right now. So i'm gonna do it because I crave that validation and also it takes too much time to scroll down to where i left off. 
> 
> I have a lot of work to do, but uh. Well, it's going good? At least?

Cider didn’t sleep often, and when he did, he was prone to nightmares. Strings had told you that he shared this affliction, that it must just be something about the two of them. 

Beni wasn’t satisfied with that. They had you call him over late one evening. They grabbed his arm and leveled with him. “Look, he’s been having these dreams about a world where you’d read to him so he wouldn’t have nightmares. I don’t know if it’d work but could you just. Go in there, tuck him in and tell him a story? He’s been in hysterics and I need a break to compose myself and right now he just needs you. Okay?”

Strings couldn’t exactly say no if he didn’t want a Beni-foot in his ass.

Strings, however, was at a loss. He didn’t have any books on hand that weren’t some kind of bullshit like cookbooks or instruction manuals. If he was going to put Cider to sleep, it wasn’t going to be from boredom. 

He settled at the foot of the bed. You were on your way up the stairs to check on him when you heard him begin to talk. You stopped outside your bedroom door and listened. A slow smile spread across your face as you recognized the story.

Cider watched in awe as Strings flattened his palms together, and upon opening them, used his magic between them to show images. Simplistic in nature, but just enough to give him the idea of what was going on. His voice gained an almost conspiratorial tone, spoken with a firmness that made you wonder if he’d missed his calling as a narrator.

**Once upon a time. In a land far away, a man rode a horse down a winding path. Shit was pretty, but he was focused on keeping his horse steady. Didn’t want to drop what he was carrying. The path was long, ending with a huge bridge spanning for miles, high above a gorge below, which led to a towering castle. Through the door, which closed behind him, and then down a winding set of stairs. He went through a huge open room. Statues on either side of him. He got down from the horse, and picked up his bundle…**

**On the altar before him, he laid her down before uncovering her. She was beautiful, motionless. Our hero, Wander, lifted his sword to banish the shadows, and a voice spoke from every direction at once. This god was called Dormin, and he spoke to Wander about the sword, about the woman he’d brought. And said that he could revive her, if he were freed. Wander didn’t hesitate, refused to hear of consequences. He said he’d do whatever it took.**

**He set off, riding in silence. He barely knew how to hold his sword, much less challenge gods with it. And yet, he didn’t hesitate even once, taking on beasts as tall as any skyscraper. As they’d be felled, tendrils of darkness would rise from the corpse, and would pierce through Wander, rendering him unconscious as the energy assimilated with him.**

**After every time, he would wake up back in front of the altar, and the statue corresponding to that beast would shatter into dust. Wander would rise, pick up his sword, and venture off again for another beast. No rest for the wicked, and even less for the devoted.**

You smiled. He had called you poetic, but it was easy for you to forget sometime that he was a poet himself. You understood now how his prose would come to life. And just like in his music, the sound of his voice in telling a story stirred things in you. You buried that, though. It was a cumbersome feeling that was unwelcome. You would not burden him with your desires, especially knowing he wasn’t interested in humans.

**Upon the path Wander had traveled to get to this land, a group of armed men led by a masked human on a white horse flew by. Why were they coming? Why in such a hurry? What had Wander done to warrant such a search party?**

**Meanwhile, Wander himself was keeping busy, slaying colossi, truly focused upon his goal. Each battle was harder than the last-- and the price of slaughter began to show without. The corruption of the tendrils of darkness were so pervasive it began to show through his skin. Even his tunic was stained by the creatures’ black blood.**

Cider looked tired, but as Strings suddenly hesitated to continue, you realized that past that point, Strings had no idea what happened aside from what little you’d told him.

Cider’s voice was small. “What happened next?”

Strings sighed. “I haven’t got that far yet.”

There was a pause. “Does he win? Does he save her?”

You waited. Finally, Strings continued.

**He was near the end of his journey, and he realized that there was no guarantee Dormin would keep his promise. There was no guarantee he’d survive to see if he would. Hope had begun bubbling from how just before he’d regain consciousness, he could almost hear her voice. Closer and closer each time.**

**What if she could hear him? What if she could feel him? He was suddenly overcome by the weight of his task, so near completion. What if she woke up alone? What if he never got to tell her exactly what he should have said before?**

**Each question brought him lower, and so he sat by the altar. And he talked. Spoke reverently of her, of how he’d always loved her, and that he wished he could have made it known sooner. That he could have made it clearer to her how much he treasured her smile, her laugh. He wouldn’t settle for his reality not involving her.**

**He was willing to dismantle the laws of the world to restore what was robbed from her. For him there was no other choice. And then, once his words dried up, he contemplated once more before standing, summoning his horse. And he looked back to her and reminded himself that even just the chance of Dormin keeping his promise would be enough motivation to keep going. He couldn’t give up now.**

“Did he win?”

Strings thought for a moment. “Yes.”

Cider gasped. “So! She came back? How did it happen?”

You were just as rapt now. Even knowing Strings was essentially rewriting the entire ending, you couldn’t help but wonder just what kind of ending he’d make.

**He awoke, but she did not move. The final statue turned to dust, and Dormin was freed. He took form-- drawing all of the shadow energy from Wander, who lay by the altar, weakened. He couldn’t even hold his sword now. It hit the ground.**

**Dormin had betrayed him, and now the only one who could stop him was too weak to do so. Wander realized it had all been for nothing. He’d been lied to. It was over.**

**Light beckoned to him. She arose from the altar, in her white gown. She stood, and he marveled at her with his waning strength. She lifted his sword and channeled her own light into it. Dormin scattered to the recesses of shadows once more. This was not enough to keep him at bay forever, but it was enough for now.**

**Wander’s horse arrived, and stooped for her to drag Wander over the saddle before climbing up, herself. In some cruel turn of events, it seemed the inverse of their arrival. She didn’t lower the sword until they were on the bridge, heading far away from this land. And when they came across the hunting party who’d been sent to retrieve them, she hid them in the forest, save for the sword.**

Cider was out cold, the promise of a happy ending had apparently been enough for him to finally quit fighting his exhaustion. At a loss for a reason to make a proper ending, Strings carefully stood so he wouldn’t wake his brother up.

You realized you were still hanging against your bedroom door, and panicked. As quietly as you could, you opened the door and lay down on your bed, rolling yourself in your comforter. Of course it wasn’t too quiet, but you hoped maybe you could pass it off as you tossing in your sleep.

He paused at your doorway, where you’d left it open. He could see relatively well in the dark so you tried to look the part. He put his hands on the top of the door frame, setting his shoulders as he looked in at you. You felt your heart hammer. 

You watched him through your eyelashes, hoping he wouldn’t notice you were definitely not asleep. There was a gleam to him, with the hall light directly behind him, casting his front in shadows, save for that one eye light. 

Why was he staring at you? He knew you were awake, didn’t he?

Just as you were beginning to fear he knew, he sighed and lowered his arms, turning his head. You saw a smile on his face that you didn’t understand. He hesitated a moment longer before stalking off, his hand lingering on the door frame until the end. 

 

* * *

 

It was over a plate of eggs that Beni gave you The Talk.

You tried to interrupt them, but they had none of it. “Look, it’s exceedingly obvious you haven’t got laid yet. There’s so much sexual tension between you I could cut it with a butter knife!”

“That analogy has never made sense to me--”

“Don’t change the subject.” They brandished a fork at you. “Do you want him?”

“I mean, of course I do. We’re dating and everything.”

“Yeah, no. You’re gonna have to do better than that. Are you hot for him?”

“Beni…”

“Just. Answer me.”

“This is so awkward.”

“You’re drawing it out.”

“Yes, I want him.”

“Thank you for admitting it. Now. Do you have any idea why you haven’t got a good hard dicking yet?”

“Fucking _Christ_ , Beni!”

“Yes or no, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t say he’s not into humans. That would give you away. “No, I guess not.” you said. “Are you done now?”

Cheerily, they stabbed their egg. The yolk bled out. “Yes, I’m done. With you.”

Your sense of dread intensified.

 

 

Beni approached Nica as one would approach any creature that could lift a stand full of guitars one handed while she swept the floor with the other. Amicably, that is. Beni seemed to have lost the capacity for fear a good long piece ago-- especially of Nica. Strong and imposing as she was, Nica was probably the least likely to go ballistic. 

“So, Nica. I know you’re not really into the fine detailings of a relationship but did you notice there’s like… a large amount of territory our local lovebirds have left uncharted?”

“If you’re referring to sex, I’m sure they can get up to that discovery without my-- or your-- help.” She paused. “Although, it would seem you might be onto something.”

“Yes! You see, they haven’t even slept in the same bed as each other. And I’ve made it clear that he’s welcome to crash at our place. Which means he obviously assumes he’d be made to sleep on our couch. Even though common sense would dictate he’d be offered a bed.”

Nica secretly rolled her eyes. If her voice sounded sarcastic, Beni didn’t notice. “It’s almost like they have no actual interest in each other that way.”

“Exactly! I’m worried. I mean… word around town is that Strings wasn’t exactly celibate before. You know? I’m concerned he might…”

“You think he’s being unfaithful? Or…”

“No. I think he’s just…” Beni couldn’t say it.  Nica understood anyway. They didn’t know why it was so frightening to imply he was leading you on.

“I would be more concerned if he _wasn’t_ taking this slow. Before you came here, he was in a very dark place emotionally. He didn’t have the means or-- frankly-- the desire to recover. I brought you here because in you I sensed a potential to help him.”

Beni scoffed. “I’ve done little to nothing.”

“Your insistence has led to a healthy familial relationship as well as instigated a romantic one. You were much more successful at this than I could have been alone. Whether you’re willing to admit it or not, you’re what has saved not just Strings, but Cider.”

Beni was silent for a moment.

“We can help each other, Beni. I leave the content of their relation at your discretion. I was ultimately the catalyst for their meeting, but you are a marvelous instrument.” Nica laid down the broom and laced her arm with Beni’s, walking toward the storefront. “Both boys trust themselves more. They’re stronger together. It’s not just their support that’s intertwined deeply in whatever codes them, it’s the feelings they’ve discovered through others along the way.”

Beni looked up at where they guessed Nica’s eyes would be. “What does this have to do with the lovebirds?”

“Everything. And nothing.” She said. And somehow, it felt right. Beni felt their tension slide off. 

Nica watched Beni go home and sighed. She had forgotten to assure Beni that she would do what she could. It was the least she could do to expedite the process for them. 

 

 

That night, Nica intruded on Strings’ nighttime ritual. “You are going to cause too much noise tonight.”

“What?” He asked, brooding over a video game he’d been trying way too hard at. “I’m never loud, you know me.”

“You will be tonight. And I don’t want you making the last of my coffee. I have to concentrate tonight, I’m doing a favor for someone and it requires intense meditation.”

“You gonna be able to hear me think or something? I’m not going to be loud. Where the fuck you want me to go, Nica?” He didn’t mean to be rude, but this was a first. 

“Just… Go next door. Cider’s probably still awake. You could tell him another story.”

Shit, he didn’t have another one planned. 

“Go.” She repeated. “Or I’ll scatter your dust where no one will ever find it.”

He groaned in aggravation. He knew it was an empty threat, but he just didn’t like this sudden change. He’d never impacted her business before. It was no secret that she kept her business afloat by doing “favors” divining for people. 

“Fine. I’ll go next door. But I’m getting ribs in the near future, and I’m not sharing.”

“Oh, boo-hoo.” Nica shooed him off.

Strings sighed and turned off the game before warping straight over to Beni’s couch. He was just about to get comfortable when you came up the stairs with a plate and went to sit down blindly. You yelped when you encountered bones.

Strings shouldn’t have found that amusing, but you just looked over at him before shoving the plate at him and going back downstairs. You returned shortly with another plate bearing another sandwich and chips. Strings had managed to wait until you got back to study his plate. If he’d looked at it too hard before, he would have eaten it and felt like a prick for making you eat alone.

“If you don’t want it, I’ll manage to eat it too.” You said.

Strings shook his head. “I’ll eat it, you know that. Just giving you a head start.”

“It’s a club, dude, it’s not complicated.”

He shrugged and finally picked it up to dig into it.

“No one given you a sandwich before?” You asked through a mouthful of bread.

“I’m just surprised. You don’t seem shocked I’m here, and you just… no questions asked, threw food at me.”

“Well, what would you do?” You asked. When he didn’t respond, you cleared your throat and spoke more clearly. “I mean, I can only guess you got a reason for being over here. Sure hope it’s not to crash on the couch.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll blow our cover.” You said and took another bite.

“Well, Nica wants me out of the house for the night. Says she’s got some meditating to do. I call bullshit but it doesn’t matter.”

“You sleep on this couch and Beni will call you out _so_ hard.”

“Could just say I didn’t wanna wake you up.”

“Beni knows better. Even Cider would call you on that.”

Strings sighed.

“Is it really that bad an option?”

“What?”

“Look, I get it, you’re not into me, but it’s not like I’m gonna take advantage of you.” You told him. “Just sleep in there with me. Bed’s a queen. Plenty of room, it’s gotta be more comfortable than any narrow-ass couch. I have light-canceling curtains, and a nice, soft duvet. C’mon. It’s like a sleepover.”

“Gonna paint my nails?”

“Only if you shave my legs.”

He snorted, and you almost choked. “Fine.” He said when he could stop laughing. “It’s a plan. Just… how likely is it that Beni breaks into your room to take pics while we’re asleep again?”

“50-50.”

“Lock the door?”

“I’ll just leave a Do Not Disturb note?”

“That is the opposite of what will happen.”

You sighed and nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, probably.”

“Oh well. If they beat on the door you can whip your shirt off and pretend we slept nude or something.”

“Or I can wear your shirt.”

“Nah.”

“Yeah, I’m not used to wearing clothes anyway.” You remarked under your breath.

He groaned. "You can’t just say that shit."

"I have it on good authority you sleep nude too, so I don’t wanna hear it."

"I won’t be, tonight!" He argued. He shoved the remainder of the sandwich into his mouth. 

You were polishing off the last of your chips. You got up. "Imma pick up and change. Join me when you’re done."

He mumbled agreement through the sandwich.

"Oh, and Strings?"

"Hmmv?"

"I have some shorts you can wear. Y’know. Since I don’t want you wearing your jeans to bed and you don’t wear underwear."

He cringed. He forgot you knew that. 

He started thinking. He was going to be in your room. In your _bed_. And your smell was torture to him. You were going to be _close_. 

Last time he’d slept in a bed with someone, it had been Shay. What if he did something dumb in his sleep? What if his hunger resurfaced while he was asleep? What if he couldn’t handle it?

What if you came onto him? Shit, you wouldn’t, not intentionally. You thought he didn’t like humans. He poured the rest of the chips into his mouth like a garbage disposal and grabbed your plate. 

Stalling for more time, he took the plates downstairs and set them in the sink. Almost was anxious enough to wash them. Almost.

He was so absent-minded that he didn’t even knock when he got to the door. You had left a pair of basketball shorts and a cut off tank top on the bed. It was the shirt he’d threatened to steal from you because it was so weirdly soft.

He sighed. You must have been in the bathroom. He decided to be quick, and changed into the shorts. You came in while he was in the act of putting on the shirt. You got a glimpse of chipped and busted bones held together by a dull coppery glow.

He looked at you. You looked at him. His chest felt tight. You bit your lip and gestured to the bed. "Inside or out?"

He cocked his head. Then it hit him. "Oh uh. I don’t care."

"Me either. Get in." You gestured, and then went to adjust the fan you kept on for background noise. This was new for him, but when you explained he said it made sense.

For a while, the two of you lay stiff as a board, space between you, staring at each other. It was as Strings feared. His tongue sat heavy in his mouth and he itched to touch you, get closer.

All those little urges he’d been holding back were much harder to ignore when he could feel your body heat, smell your shampoo and that scent that was just you. He had to do something or he was going to go mad.

Couldn’t exactly jack off right now, though.

He flipped over. You stared at the back of his head for a moment, considered putting an arm around him, maybe jetpacking. If he’d asked, you’d say it was in case Beni came in. 

You couldn’t though. It felt wrong. He’d been nothing if not vocal about his lack of interest in humans. You wouldn’t violate his boundaries like that. 

Fuck, you had it bad, you realized. You sat and stared for the longest time, until the lull of his breathing as he fell asleep put you under.

Strings woke up hungry as fuck, your scent heavy in his head. That could be because he was stuck to you and couldn’t pull away. He almost panicked, but decided whatever was happening would be worse if he did.

He looked at you. In your sleep, you’d stripped off and were now in nothing but your underwear, and he was holding you to him, one arm under and around you, clasping to your chest. 

The other hand innocently draped over your waist but nonetheless held you pinned against him. You’d gotten too hot, he guessed, trying to stay calm.

You were alive. And unmarked. And once he got his senses about him he realized what that meant. He hadn’t gone feral in his sleep. You were safe. You hadn’t misplaced your trust in him this time.

He’d have celebrated that more fully if he wasn’t also keenly aware he was sporting an erection. He tried to diffuse his magic but you were right fucking there. Your skin was perfect, he’d been breathing you in most the night, and he wanted to taste your sweat.

Your skin was stuck to him, so when he tried to pull away-- "shiit" he whispered, seeing the imprint of his ribcage on your back. He’d stripped off the shirt, he realized. 

The prints on your skin did not help his growing need. Oh, fuck, it didn’t. He was shaking, he realized, and carefully got up without waking you. He went to the door and opened it, rushing out in an attempt to get to the bathroom where he’d compose himself.

And of course Beni and Cider were right there, on the couch. They turned at the noise and looked at him. 

His erection shrank from sheer mortification.

He warped straight home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready, got even more fuckin action in the next chapter. When I get it written.
> 
> Hope this tided you over until then.


	5. Perfect Drug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human woman's voice was unsure. Cider felt swayed by her apprehension. "Why do you need my brother?"
> 
> "Honestly, if it were up to me, I'd rather him not be here for this. Nica told me about you, though. Gave me your number this morning. She told me that you look like him. I think it might be enough."
> 
> Cider listened intently on his cell phone as he browsed through the grocery store. As the call went on... his fists closed hard over the handle of the cart. 
> 
> "I shall arrive this evening. Thank you."
> 
> His fingers peeled away and the plastic grip fell apart from the iron beneath. Cider sighed. He could hardly focus on the task at hand now, but he'd manage. 
> 
> He just had to find a way to keep his evening plans from Beni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you're gonna hate me.

When Beni approached Strings, he was ready lifting a hand with his mouth open to apologize or make an excuse-- anything to keep this conversation, whatever it was going to be, from happening. 

They batted his hand away and glared up at him. "Listen up, friend. Last night was a good start, but I’m not convinced you’re not just playing games. It’s obvious that you two haven’t **boned**. If you’re not interested, that’s something you should talk about."

Strings stared at Beni, shocked. 

Beni cleared their throat. "I don’t know your history by anything but word of mouth but… seriously, it feels like you’re **string** ing my friend along. And if that happens to be what this is about, you’ll lose more than just my respect."

They stalked off to the kitchen without another word, leaving Strings to stare, mouth agape, at the space Beni had just occupied.

Cider adjusted his paper. "THEY DO THAT SOMETIMES." He said. When Strings met his stare, Cider’s expression became more serious. "I have learned to listen."

"What the hell?" Strings collapsed in the chair across from his brother.

"This is nothing new. You’re not the only one to receive such a talk."

Strings waited for you to come down for lunch. When you finally did, he was struck by how stressed you looked. He opened the door for you and guided you outside. “Sleep well?” He asked absently, leading you down the street, intent on a street vendor. 

“Like fuckin shit when I woke up to Beni and Cider screeching like fucking hyenas. Where were you?”

“They saw me come out of your room in your shorts.”

You sighed. “Okay, that makes sense, but it’s not that fucking funny.”

“Intense eye contact, warped away without a word.”

“Still not that funny.”

Strings shrugged. “Guess we’ll never know.”

“Guess not…” You looked up at him. “What did Beni want?”

The line for the street vendor was pretty long. Gave Strings plenty of time to talk. “They were asking me when I intend to fuck you.”

You let out an inhuman noise. Three people in line turned to look at you. You shrank and looked up at Strings, who glared at the others until they turned back around to mind their own business.

Strings leaned in closer to speak into your ear, putting his arm around your shoulders. You could barely hear him through your heartbeat thudding in your head. “So, the plan is we do something in a place and at a volume that there’s no illusion what we’re doing…”

You had to cover your face. “What do you want to do?”

“We sneak into the pantry together, absolutely wreck it while making obnoxious noises like we’re fucking. Then afterward you just say I’m a lousy lay or something, and they’ll leave us alone.”

_Pretending, then…_ You didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved. 

“Sound like a good idea? Some sweet revenge?”

You shrugged and grinned at him, your head still swimming. “When are we gonna do it?” 

At the note of excitement in your voice, he felt some kind of chill jolt through him. He must have stared at you for a few straight minutes before snapping back to himself by you pulling him forward in line. “Uh… after lunch.” He said.

Your face brightened. You smirked up at him and he felt excitement of his own lurch up. Hastily, he looked away so he could rein himself in. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. But he wasn’t going to _actually_ be touching you when you guys were doing it. 

_It’d be more convincing…_ He bit that thought off and tried not to think any further in that thread. Once again, he proved unable to hold himself back. _Imagine having them in that tiny little place, the only light being from the slats in door. Picking them up and slamming them against the wall and just..._

He was grinding his teeth. _If the pantry looks like the one at Nica’s, there is no wall, just continuous shelves._

He’d sunk low enough to start arguing with himself it seemed. _On the floor then. Or just… midair._

“Strings?” You playfully looked back at him, about to ask him again what he wanted to eat-- and then you saw his expression. He snapped out of it when you reached up and gently popped his jaw. “Quit grinding your teeth, babe. Order.”

It was enough to stun him-- and when you realized what you’d called him, you froze facing away from him. The cashier looked from you to him. This was probably the most exciting drama to happen to him all day, but he wasn't not too into it, so he just waited for Strings to order. He regularly saw customers make the face you were making-- when they accidentally said “you too” when he says “enjoy your food.” 

Strings ordered something at random, shoved some money at him, and waited, his head spinning.

How was he going to come back from this? How was he going to play this off?

It hit him. If he was going to play this off, he’d have to make it clear it was just a joke. If it teased you, riled you up before your little plan in the pantry, all the better, right? And if it felt a little too cozy, a little too right…

He just had to make sure it _didn’t_.

The street vendor handed you each a hot dog. Strings didn’t remember asking for that particular combination of things on his but he decided it wouldn’t be the worst thing he’d put in his mouth. Plus, the pretzel bun was pretty soft and fragrant. 

He didn’t see you stare at him as he managed to fit more than half the hot dog into his mouth in one bite, effortlessly. It had been something you’d poked at him for, playfully. He’d always try to kill the mood by reminding you he was quite accustomed to putting things in his mouth. It was one of those instances size didn’t matter.

You would always laugh and blush and he’d wonder why he kept making the joke if it didn’t have its intended effect. Lately he just did it because your smile, especially that little sassy one you did when he said something in that deep burr, just made him feel lighter. Gods, he’d be insane to admit it though.

“You should be a competitive eater.” You said after taking a decent chunk out of your own.

“Got first place for eating pie.” He said, waggling his browbones and chuckling when you screeched with laughter. 

“What’s better, pie or weiners?”

By sheer effort, he didn’t respond, _Whatever you’ve got for me, baby_.

“Hey, hey. You don’t have to choose, I was just playing.”

Shit, he must have made a really bad face at that. “I’m good, I’m good. Good either way.”

You giggled. “I’m sure you are.”

He shoved the rest of his hot dog into his mouth and thought about his next move. He really wanted to get you back for calling him babe accidentally. He knew he’d have to wait a bit, though. Didn’t want to say it with you still eating. He didn’t know how to do the Heimlich maneuver without breaking several bones.

He could go for the mouth-to-mouth, though. 

You polished off the rest of your food and said something. He didn’t catch it. He came closer. “Hmm?”

“I said, what happens if Beni or Cider catch us in there?”

Shit, that was a valid question. “We can act like we heard them coming and pull apart with everything all mussed up?”

“But… we’d still be clothed.”

Oh, boy, he was about to blow your mind. “Fun fact, sweetheart.” He purred, saw you perk and heat up. “Magic doesn’t care if you’ve got clothes on. If I wanted to… I could slice right through your clothes and no one would even know. It’s all about the intent.”

You tried to speak but stammered and gave up.

He hummed and came closer. “Or, I could just hold the door closed with my magic. Or when they come in, we could just pretend to have been dry humping… but if we’re going to be loud and messy, dry humping won’t cut it… What do you think, baby?”

“I hate you.”

“Fucking liar.” He growled, and felt you shiver. “How about we just wing it?”

“Sure, just quit please.” 

“Aww, c’mon. Eye for an eye.”

“And it didn’t affect you _nearly_ the way it’s affecting me.”

_If you only knew_.

Culture Shock was nearing. “C’mon, it’ll make it more convincing if you look hot and bothered on the way in.”

“What are we doing first, just going straight back there?”

“Let’s knock some stuff around in your bedroom first, then I’ll warp us into the pantry. Hope no one’s in there or else I’ll have to throw you against a wall until they leave.”

“ _Really_ regretting telling you about that fantasy now.”

“I’ll tell you mine sometime.” He said.

“Please don’t.”

“Quit lying, you want to know.”

You groaned in aggravation. “Yes, I really do.”

“If we succeed, we can play more truth or dare.”

“I’m gonna grill your ass.”

“Good luck. I don’t have one.” He reached for the door, shit-eating grin on his face.

Beni tried to pretend not to be interested as you grabbed Strings by the hand and half-drug him upstairs, giggling a bit. Beni failed hard, especially when you made eye contact and winked. You almost died of mortification when they started clapping. The one patron, in line to pay before leaving, confusedly began clapping, too.

Where was Cider? Strings felt that he wasn’t around. He didn’t want to focus on his brother’s energy readings-- just wanted to make sure he wasn’t asleep in the next room. That would be even more awkward than what they were about to do.

It was an immediate effect for him. When Strings walked into your room, surrounded by your smell and energy, he felt warmth and a little hunger despite having just eaten. And when you turned around to face him, face hot, grin wide, he felt his magic ready itself to be used. He had to metaphorically beat it down with a stick lest he pounce on you for real.

“What do we do now?” You taunted. “Gonna lock the door and turn off the lights? Gonna jump on my bed like a kid?”

“No…” He lifted you with magic. “If Beni knows you nearly as well as I do, they’ll be waiting for this.” And he crashed you against the wall. Your breath left you, and you didn’t struggle like he’d imagined you would. It felt too good to have his magic around you. “Gonna stay quiet, or am I gonna have to make you act up?”

He silently begged you not to call his bluff. He was not confident enough in his strength of will.

You looked to have a similar conundrum, considering you were visibly trying not to react to what was going on.

Strings played if off, like he always did. He let you down to your feet with a laugh. “Sorry if that was too much.”

“Beni should know what’s going on, at least.” You said after clearing your throat and dusting yourself off. “So, now what?”

“Now you get to put your acting skills to the test.”

“I’m…”

“Let’s get this started on a higher note first, though.” He said, and you felt his phantom hands grasp your wrists and ankles, and several more start tickling you. 

“Hah! Joke’s on you. I’m not ticklish.” You lied, almost biting your cheek hard enough to draw blood. 

He came closer, and used his own hands where he knew your secret weakness was. Your neck. You tried to scream but your voice froze in your throat and you did your best impression of a threatened turtle. A noise that was incredibly unsexy came out as you tried in vain to hide your neck-- a noise that became a grunt and then a snort and then a wheeze.

Strings stopped and let you breathe, but only because he was laughing too hard.

Freed, you glared at him before shoving him back. He flopped down on your bed, and when he tried to get up, you shoved him back down, grinning maliciously at him. As you watched his expression, you realized he _got something out of that_ and you felt a rush of power. “Looks like I’m not the only one who likes rough treatment.” You whispered.

He schooled his expression, fists balled in your sheets. “You know nothing.”

“Sure. I know nothing.”

“I’m done playing around, babe.” He growled, getting up to loom over you. 

Your breath left you. “Really?”

“Let’s go wreck some shit.” He said, and grabbed your hand.

Downstairs, it was cooler. The pantry was dark. Strings invited you to shove him, and you did. He swept an entire shelf off with his arm in the process. You sputtered laughter and tried to muffle it. He threw a package of noodles at you, and you tried and failed to swat it away. It hit you in the jaw, and now he was laughing too.

You hissed at him “Noises, Strings!” And he looked you dead in the eye and tried as hard as he could to make a sexual noise. Now you were both in hysterics, trying your damnedest to not laugh loud enough to be heard. You tried one of your own, over exaggerated, wiping yet more things off a shelf, and the crack of his hand smacking his mouth to keep the sounds in made you giggle harder.

Footsteps.

Strings panicked. He grabbed you, leaned back against a shelf, sat you astride his hips, and pulled you into a hurried but absolutely ferocious kiss that left you breathless, one of his arms anchored around your back, the other tangled in your hair. Your mind went absolutely numb, and you kissed back after a moment, a whimper leaving you. Your fingers tangled in his shirt, and you locked your legs behind him as best you could.

The door opened, bathing you with light, and you squinted through the blindness to see Beni staring at you both. “You know…” They said, gesturing at you. “There are other places you could have gone.” They shrugged and sighed, rubbing their face before shutting the door. You could still hear them, though. “Just… clean up when you’re done, please?”

Now that you weren’t a deer in the headlights, you realized exactly what had just happened. You froze, afraid to look at Strings, even as you were still locked in place around him.

He straightened up, no longer leaning on the shelves. You hesitantly let your legs fall from him, and he set you down gently. He was looking quite pensive, and the care he took to fix your hair back the way it was before he messed it all up with his grabbing…

“Sorry. I should have asked first…” He said.

“The point was to come in here without permission, right?”

“No… yeah, I mean… no, the _kiss_.”

You felt your throat seized up and you looked up at him. “It’s… it’s fine.”

Looking up at him, you wished you were a little taller so you could do it again. This had opened so many doors, you couldn’t pretend anymore. You couldn’t fake indifference anymore.

He grinned, and you felt yourself die a little bit. “So. Was it good for you?”

You laughed, and wished so fucking hard that he’d do it again. And then, when you had to part from him entirely, you realized there was a suspicious glow, a bulge-- but as soon as you went to look, it was gone. You wondered if you were just imagining it.

Cleanup is amazingly short work when you can summon spectral hands to pick everything up. He refused to let you do it-- not because he felt you shouldn’t help, but because seeing you bend over would just put him in a much worse position. You were a little distracted, and he was all-too willing to let the silence between the two of you grow until it was too strong to break.

 

You hugged your pillow that night, thinking about him, feeling that weird shit in your chest. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. And so you set an alarm on your phone. You were going to do this. You were going to dress up nice, go to him... You were going to broach the forbidden topic.

You wanted him. The worst he could say is no, and you guys would do what you’d previously intended, and go back to being awkward friends after a staged fight. It’d suck, and yeah you were worried the friendship would fall apart… 

You couldn’t help this, though. You were in love with your best friend, and it was becoming impossible to not pretend there was nothing between you. That was not a “panic button” kiss. You couldn’t be projecting; it was a _feelings_ kiss. 

That was the kiss of a man who wanted to fucking devour someone.

 

Even after he got out of the pantry, even when he went home…

He couldn’t get your scent out of his head. He couldn’t forget that little whimper or how you’d tasted, how shock had bled into enthusiasm. 

He felt like he was being cruel, leading you on like this. He couldn’t keep doing this, flirting with danger every damn time. Sure, he hadn’t caved to his cravings… but he wasn’t willing to put your life on the line because he was selfish.

That, and… even with all the magic he’d burnt with the spectral hands… he was still pent up in a dangerous way. It was only a matter of time before he snapped. He was getting too attached to you. He could already feel a connection to you. He remembered talking to Fennel about this kind of thing.

He’d thought Fennel had exaggerated about this complex feeling, after all, it was much more intense than anything he’d ever felt. He’d give anything to be able to talk to him right now…

What could he do? He needed to keep you safe from himself. He needed to cut this off before it hurt either of you too much to bear. And, above all, he needed to figure out how he was going to keep from going back.

He lay awake all night, and come morning, he was exhausted, grumpy… and resigned. Nica looked at him as he got off the couch. She offered him a meat pie she’d picked up at the Airship for him. He refused it, and left.

And on the doorstep, you stood, as if you were working up the courage to come in. And you were fucking gorgeous. He didn’t physically react, but in his mind, he was even more unstable now. “What are you doing here.” He didn’t mean to sound that pissed, but fuck, it was just going to be that way anyway.

“I…” You looked much less confident now. Scared, even. That pissed him off even more. Reminded him that you _should_ be scared of him. “I wanted to talk to you about… something.”

You hadn’t been this shy for him in a long time, and it made him feel like a stranger. It burned. It stank of another time, another place, when everything had gone to shit and he’d lost someone he’d started to feel for. He was only getting worse, he had to get away. But looking at you, he knew he couldn’t stay away for long.

Fuck, he couldn’t tell what he was feeling anymore. "I don’t want to talk to you." He said.

It was immediate, the crushing emotions playing out on your face. 

Strings hated himself for this, but he’d hate himself more if he didn’t tell the truth.

"Strings, what did I do?"

He tried to think of something. Anything.

"I… Strings, I don’t… I think I love you. And-and-and it’s not about what happened yesterday. It’s everything..."

"I don’t want to talk to you." He repeated, refusing to look at you. He sounded so fucking hateful. He felt like he should be on fire. 

You were silent. He looked at you, and saw you crying. He wanted to apologize. Maybe it wasn’t too late.

"Strings, I’ve been holding this in for so long because I knew you didn’t feel the same. You don’t have to accept how I feel, and I don’t expect you to reciprocate it. I made a mistake."

The hurt channeled into rage, kindling as you continued to speak. He was too tired to tamp his anger down.

"I thought we were friends." You said, wiping your face and staring up at him, tears turning bitter.

"Are you done?" He asked. You blinked at him in shock. "Good, now listen up. I would sooner fuck an animal than another human ever again in my life. And, yeah, I know what I’m missing, I’ve had it _and I nearly killed it._ "

You didn’t react, glaring up at him. He sneered, more disgusted with himself than anything. "You think you’re so fucking sweet, well guess what? You wanna be with me, you gotta live with the fear that I’ll kill you and eat you in your sleep."

"I don’t fucking believe you!" You yelled back. "I don’t know what your problem is."

"My _problem_ is that I’m an asshole, a human meat junkie, and if you don’t stay the _fuck_ away from me, you’re gonna be my next meal, and not in the way you apparently want."

"I should never have come to Topside. I regret ever laying eyes on you." You hissed.

"Yeah, you should. Go on home, then. Don’t let me stop you. Pack up and go back where the _people_ are."

Behind him, Nica threw a water bottle at him. "Strings! Stop yelling in my house!"

" ** _Fuck_ your house!** " He yelled, and disappeared in a gust of cold air. You tried to grab after him, give him another piece of your mind, but he was already gone. And you were numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger!!!!!
> 
> I really wanna know what you guys think. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt the only way to save someone was by pushing them away? I hate the trope because it never seems to work and just makes everything worse and more painful-- but in practice...
> 
> Well, just like most of the things I've written for Strings, I guess I wrote it from experience. Love is messy. Love is painful. But if it's really worth it, both parties will struggle to make it work. It's an act of equivalent exchange.
> 
> I hope I'll find it one day. I've been with nothing but Shays.


	6. "I'm Sorry."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is mostly me apologizing. My outline is drawing to a close here shortly.
> 
> Have some lore, some explanation-- but no relief. That will come later, but it WILL come (bah-dum-tss).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your comments, it made me excited to keep working on this.

The silence was unbearable. Nica sighed and tugged you in off the stoop. You let her steer you toward the couch, and she offered you a meat pie. You accepted it but didn’t eat. With your free hand, you mopped off your face.

"Please don’t take it the wrong way." Nica said, shuffling back into the kitchen. "He’s really not in his right mind."

"It doesn’t matter." You grumbled. "If he cared about me at all, he wouldn’t have yelled at me."

Nica sighed. "I want to tell you a story."

"Nica..."

"Hear me out, and then I’ll tell you your fortune."

"Fine."

"Strings dated a human named Shay for a few months. By ‘date' I mean they did gross shit together and slept under the same roof, working together. They had little in common."

"I… I really don’t want to know this, Nica."

"Yes you do. Listen." Nica came back with two mugs of tea. She handed one off to you and sat down next to you. "Shay decided they wanted Strings to do something he’d refused to do. They got him drunk and tricked him into drinking human blood."

"Why would they do that?"

"I don’t really know. But it was effective, just not in a way they wanted. He blacked out. He was incredibly drunk, and human blood affects us differently depending on context. It can stave off a heat, induce lethargy… but that’s only if the monster imbibing it is lucid enough to recognize the situation. Strings didn't know. He still doesn’t."

You didn’t realize what that meant for a second. "Did they live?"

"Sadly, yes. But Strings doesn’t know they orchestrated the situation. Not only that, but I was worried what would happen if I interfered on his behalf."

"You knew and you didn’t tell him." You waited but she didn’t reply. "May I know why? Why make him suffer?"

"I had multiple reasons. The first was I thought Shay would come apologize, and I’d rather not interfere unless I had to. But they didn’t. My vision of them begging for forgiveness wasn’t… the most lucid one I’d had."

"What?"

"Some of my visions are abstract in nature. It’s not a perfect ability, I’m not a goddess."

"Well, if you realized it wasn’t going to happen, why didn’t you do it then?"

"You know how awkward that would be? Also, he wouldn’t have believed me, and neither would Alison. Fenn and Gentem might have, but without Alison’s approval, their hands are still tied."

"Still feels like you could have told him. Could have done _something_."

Nica sighed. "If I’d told him, do you think he would have built such a tight relationship with another human? You guys built a friendship, something independent of the sex, drugs, and alcohol. If I’d told him, who’s to say things wouldn’t have been different?"

"So you make him live in fear that he’s bloodthirsty?"

"My choice was the lesser of two evils. I’d rather him hate or resent me than see him make the same mistake a second time. But that’s not important right now."

"What?"

"What’s important is that he’s run away because he’s afraid of hurting you."

"Too late." You grumbled, but it was half-hearted.

"He’ll cool off eventually. He’s pent up with his magic, so it’d be ideal to let him work it off on his own. He might be unstable until he gets himself under control."

"Lemme get this straight. He’s out there suffering for something he didn’t knowingly do, and you’re trying to tell me I should just let him?"

"Yeah. It’s not the best idea to go after him right now, though I’ve no notion how you’d find him anyway."

You thought, and then an idea hit you. "I’ve gotta go. You can tell me my future later!"

"See you at dinner!" She called after you. "Sure hope Strings has his heat in check, or that’s gonna be awkward."

 

* * *

 

Cider needed an excuse to leave. He’d feel better about this if he could obscure the details until later, but in the meantime, Beni was _not_ to be involved. He heard arguing in the kitchen.

“Look, I just need to find him. Where’s Cider?”

“I’m not sending my mate after an unstable asshole, brother or no!”

“What’s this about?” Cider asked, and Beni flinched to look up at him. 

You sighed in relief. “Strings and I got into a fight, and I need to go find him and bring him back. It’s not his fault, I really just. I need to help him.”

Cider hummed. He smiled. “IN THAT CASE I’D BE HAPPY TO HELP.”

“What, really?” You sputtered, while Beni roared in frustration.

“I’ll be damned if he goes alone!” Beni slapped the counter. 

“I’ll go, too, then.” You said. “Just. Take me to find him, let me have a word with him.”

“And what am I to do?” Beni asked. “Should I go, too? Huh? Kick his bony ass while you try to kiss it, even though _he’s_ the one who yelled at _you_?”

“He shouldn’t have yelled at me. And I’m not going to make his apology for him. But there’s more to the situation that he couldn’t tell me before.”

“Yeah, but he’s a ravening asshole!”

Cider cleared his throat. Beni looked up, sighing. “Beni-darling. I’m hoping when everything’s said and done, we can all sit to eat together. But I need you to calm down. What you are feeling right now is just an extension of my own anger.”

You blinked up at him.

He offered an arm to you. You lightly placed your hand on his forearm, and then there was complete nothingness.

“Welcome to the Empty. My predecessors called it the Void. Either works. I just prefer to call it the Empty, because that’s what I called it when I didn’t know who I was.” He cleared his throat. “So! I assume this is about his incident with a human in the past?”

“You knew?”

“Vaguely. I probably know less than you, but I intend to change that tonight. So I’m going to help you find Strings and then depart for a meeting that I’d prefer you not mention to Beni."

"Why?"

"Beni deserves the full story."

"Why not… take them with you?"

He didn’t respond.

You finally relented. "Okay. So. It’s really getting hard to focus in here. How do we find Strings, before I go crazy."

 

* * *

 

He could feel you, and considering he was nearly feral at this point, that wasn’t good. He was sitting up on a high branch in a snowy pine tree, overlooking rock formations that in summer would be swamped with rude tourists.

He’d thought he was far enough from you to think, and leveling trees would be enough to get rid of his energy, but he was still raw.

He hated himself. He’d put that pain on your face. He’d caused those tears. He’d hurt you emotionally so that he wouldn’t have the chance to do so physically.

Every part of him wanted to beg for forgiveness. There must have been better ways to handle this. He could have slept on it, came back to it on a fresh mind.

He’d refused your feelings, even though he couldn’t deny he felt the same. He wouldn’t put you in danger. 

It was hard for him up here. He could still remember the smell of your skin, the taste of your kiss, and how he hadn’t felt like a ravening beast in that moment, mashed up with you in the pantry. He was scared of how he’d felt.

He growled and rubbed his face into the bark of the tree, trying to wipe away his tears.

Even with the constant use of magic to keep him warm in this wintery mix and his abuse of trees, he was still wildly unstable. It was his emotions. Denial didn’t change anything.

It wasn’t that he just wanted you sexually, it wasn’t just that he was scared of hurting you. He was scared of feeling like this for someone. Losing Shay was bad enough-- this was worse. By pushing you away, maybe that meant it’d hurt less.

He hated himself.

He was up there, shivering, for a while, until he felt it again, in his ribs. The pull of you, the weight of his feelings. And he knew he wasn’t just imagining it.

Like it or not, his feelings had manifested in this way over a month ago. He could _feel_ you. Especially when you were in pain. It was a sensation that he’d assumed was an exaggeration of life-mates. He understood now.

He slid down the branch, hanging from his knees, looking around for you. He heard your voice calling for him, and he reached for another branch, swinging from it.

It was slick and he was distracted. He didn’t grasp through the ice enough, and lost his grip. In a panic, he warped before he could hit the ground.

Now he couldn’t hear you. He just knew you were deeper into the forest, and he suddenly realized that he felt this way because you weren’t _dressed_ for this weather.

How did you get here? Why were you here?

If he wanted to find you before you froze to death, he was going to have to do something stupid. He felt his primal, feral side sneak up on him, and he didn’t know what else to do.

He only prayed that he’d be able to stop it when he found you.

 

* * *

 

Cider arrived at the Airship wearing one of Strings’ tanktops, a beanie, and a pair of sweatpants Beni had made him. He was taller than his brother, so this was as close as he could get. He hoped the hat would hide his lack of a hole in the top of his skull.

Alison, who’d made the call, was pacing, Fennel was sitting next to Gentem, holding his hand in both of his own. Gixie and her human Trevor were sitting in a booth in the corner, talking idly. The sign on the door said Closed.

Cider warped through the doors, causing Alison to jump. She looked up at Cider. 

"Oh wow, you really _do_ look like him." Gentem murmured. He stood and opened his arms. "Thank you for coming."

"We should make this quick. I have a human metaphorically in the freezer."

Fennel grinned up at him. "He’s tall, but I like him."

Alison stepped in. "I’m so sorry. About all of this." She bit her mouth and sighed. She wiped at her face carefully to stave off tears. "Anyway! Allow me to introduce you to everyone, before we begin."

 

* * *

 

You couldn’t yell anymore. It was so cold. Cider had promised to come right back, but he did give you his turtleneck sweater. Every breath was like a dagger in your throat. 

What if you died out here?

Shit, this was why Nica asked you to wait.

You kept moving, even though you could no longer feel your legs. You managed to yell for Strings one more time.

You heard a noise. When you turned you saw a thick bit of sturdy wood that you’d climbed over. It was shattered.

Your heart raced, but you could barely move, so cold…

Growls, echoing in the trees. 

Your head swam, your vision whited out. You felt top-heavy, and your legs wouldn’t move.

"Strings..." you felt tears freeze to your cheeks. "Help…" your voice was so weak.

Before consciousness left you, you thought you could smell cedar.

 

* * *

 

"Ye can’t dress up a turd." Fennel grumbled. "They sure tried."

Alison nodded. "They had the nerve to tell me I should understand. Gentem only bit me because his heat was going to kill me with how it was going, and human blood ends heats early. _They_ wanted it because they got off on the idea and didn't care about his comfort with it." She made a disgusted noise.

"They’re just beyond this door, yes?"

Everyone agreed. 

"Does anyone else know they are here?"

There was silence. "It’s very possible." Trevor said. "They talked to me, too. Thought if I played nice I could get good info from them. They said Strings had always been worried about them. Told them to at least tell someone they were coming here. I won’t tell you what else they told me. You’d really rather not know."

Cider sighed. "Noted. Thank you."

Cider went to the door and focused on dulling his sensory issues. The cold of the door handle. The rush of cold air in this room. He tried not to focus on how naked he felt in this blasted tanktop. 

Shay’s eyes raked over him, and he worried he’d already given himself away as not being Strings.

"Oh my god, baby, you got bigger." They smiled, and Cider noticed tears in their eyes. 

Cider successfully kept himself from growling. He took deep breaths. He had to keep his head no matter what they said.

In an impression that he, himself, was proud of, he muttered, "What’s going on?"

Even more satisfying was their expression crumpling.

 

* * *

 

Nica came into Culture Shock with enough groceries to fill a buffet.

"What the fuck is this?" Beni asked.

"What’s it look like?" She laughed.

That was when Nica realized Beni was crying.

"Ohhh, no. Emotions." 

Beni hiccupped.

"No… nonono please no."

Beni pulled Nica into a hug. "WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS?" They yelled into her shirt.

"Have you talked to Cider about it?"

"He said." They paused to sniff. Nica remembered she’d packed some tissues into her pockets today. She pulled them out. Beni used them with thanks. "He said my anger was an extension of his own. And when I get mad I… I start crying and he’s not _here_."

Nica sighed. "Well, humans are fundamentally a little different from monsters. In school, we all learned about life-mating, and how it works. I’m not a great authority on it, but… I mean, I know enough to give you a rudimentary explanation..."

"It’s been like this for months and I just. He won’t tell me what it means or why it’s happening."

"Cider didn’t go to school. He might know how to explain it, he might not."

"So tell me then." Beni spat.

"Let’s make some tea, while I gather myself for this."

Nica hadn’t anticipated this. She’d known to bring tissues, and groceries. But this little piece of the puzzle eluded her. Not that she _always_ knew what was happening. Not at all. It’s just, she wasn’t prepared to give a lecture.

Finally, she sorted her head out enough and sat down at the table. Beni was pouring the tea, and after a quizzical glance, Nica spoke up that she’d like four sugars in hers.

Beni sat down and stared into their mug.

Nica took a deep breath, psyched herself up, and got started. "So. When a monster loves someone very much."

Beni started snickering.

Nica cleared her throat. "You knew it would be this kind of talk. Be nice and listen."

"Yes, ma’am."

"So, when a monster feels a certain way for someone, it becomes a bond. There are different types of bonds. Friend bonds, enemy bonds. But we’re talking about love bonds. They affect people in lots of different ways. But they do serve a purpose, biologically."

She waited for Beni to make a joke, or say something, but they just gestured her onward, rapt.

"Ah, so… humans are stronger than monsters. So hunting them one-on-one is a bad thing. If monsters form bonds, they can sense each other. At first it’s just proximity. You can tell they’re in pain."

Beni’s eyes widened. "At first? What about..."

"Getting there. Bonds are not instantaneous. They build over time when the two people understand each other and feel the same way about each other, whether it’s spoken out loud or not. You seem to be feeling his emotions-- this requires a deeper bond."

"So does he get the same feelings?"

"Yes. However, he’s just better at keeping it muted."

"Is there… any bad side to this?"

"Try hiding something from him."

Beni gave a harsh chuckle. "Why is he angry, then? Why do I feel like killing things?"

Nica held her breath. Finally, "Well. I’m sure whatever it is, he has a fine explanation."

"Why won’t you tell me?" Beni, now dried up, was scowling in a way that Nica noted was actually somewhat intimidating.

"Would you rather hear his words or mine? I don’t like to get involved in this kind of stuff. Which is partially why the little blowup with Strings happened."

Beni sighed. "Okay. Fine. I’ll wait for him."

"I brought your favorite doughnuts." Nica pointed at a bag on the counter.

"Shouldn’t we be putting everything in the freezer and fridge?"

"Nah, trust me. Save some energy and leave it out. Get some doughnuts, and let’s drink this tea before it gets too cold."

 

* * *

 

Cider was reeling. Pretenses forgotten, he stood to his full height. He loomed over Shay, and they realized after a moment they were paralyzed. 

As much as they wanted to believe sexy times were about to happen, they remembered what Nica said. It had haunted their dreams. 

_His father figure and best friend practically disown him, and he’s not allowed to interact with their children. He’s lost his job and his home. His other friends are hesitant to talk to him. And he thinks he’s something he’s not: an uncontrollable vessel of pain and gluttony… and worst of all to his mind, he doesn’t even have you._

“It’s all better, right? They’re back! You have your family back, and… you’re not evil or…”

Cider took off the hat and threw it. Shay’s eyes danced over the unmarred dome of his skull. Cider leaned down, eyed them with his empty sockets. “My brother is not evil, you’re right. But please, for the love of your life-- since that’s your only concern-- shut the cantankerous fuck up before I do something I won’t regret.”

Shay visibly battled with the urge to speak. Still restrained, they looked up at him. 

Cider put his hands on the chair they sat in, leaning ever closer to be up in their face. He leaned the chair backwards to throw their balance off. They whimpered but thankfully stayed silent.

He spoke, voice softer than usual. “My brother is a kind, gentle man, despite what airs he puts on. He’s soft. And you took advantage of him, deceived him. And it was all for something petty and selfish. You took so much from him and then waited _a year_ to come clean about it.” 

He leaned back, but left the chair dangling unsteady on two legs. For good measure, he made it wobble, drawing a yelp from them. He tried and failed to cut off a bark of laughter. He leaned back in, satisfied when they tried to draw back. Shay stifled a scream when they noticed something swim in his sockets, some expanse of darkness that moved and begged to come forth and devour them. 

“You’re lucky my bond-mate is not here. Though whether they’d hinder or encourage me, I’m unsure. I remember things from another life, a dark room with black tile and grout blackened with blood. I know of many ways to torment a human until I get the information I need. It would be all too easy to do so to **draw a more convincing apology out of you.** ” 

He took a breath and ground out. “I am going to get someone else. They will come in here. You will write down everything you’ve told me, sign and date it. You will clear my brother’s name, and then you will leave. And if I _ever_ see you here again, I won’t be as merciful as I’m being now.”

Shay whimpered.

Cider leaned back, and the chair righted itself. They were breathing hard, looking around. Cider unfettered them, and turned for the door. He paused, but didn’t look back at them. “Normally, I’d tell someone I believe they can do better. I’d like to hope that for you-- but that would require you to grow up. I stand by my promise of earlier. Do not contact my brother again.”

He left the room and let out a noise of absolute aggravation. Fennel touched his leg and Cider yelped, the noise turning strangled at the end. Fennel jumped back. “Sorry, fren, you jus seemed a mite fucked in the head.”

“Touch hurts me sometimes.” Cider explained, catching his breath, though breathing was unnecessary. 

“Gotch. Sorry.”

“You didn’t know. It’s fine. I need you to get some paper and make sure they write everything down. They will clear his name. I have to go help a human, but first I need to change clothes.”

Fennel smiled. “Should I use my magic to make them honest?”

“NO!” Alison yelled from the other room, and the sound of her rapid footsteps told Cider now was a time to leave. The task was in good hands. 

He smiled at Alison as she rounded the corner. "IT WAS SUCH A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU ALL AT LAST. I HOPE YOU WILL COME VISIT MY CAFE, AND STRINGS! BRING THE CHILDREN."

Alison paused as Cider disappeared. She looked at Fennel. He looked up at her. They both shrugged, and went about what needed to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I make a playlist for this story? It would be a lot of songs that give me heavy vibes for this story in particular, and not just the two or three i've mentioned in this story. I'm talking at least 10 songs. These would also be songs I see Strings being a fan of, and drawing musical influence off of, if anyone wants a reference for what he likes that isn't full of screaming.
> 
> ANYWAY. I'm hoping I can get the next chapter done tonight or tomorrow night so I don't have to worry you guys ^.^ Wish me luck~
> 
> Next chapter will be MUCH LESS HECTIC, it was just getting long again, so I decided to dice it off at the knees! 
> 
> He's suspicious of me. I'm afraid he'll read this.
> 
> If it takes me a bit to get the last chapter out, it's because I'm finally leaving this situation I'm in behind. Thursday, July 12, I'll be spending my day packing and leaving in secret. Please keep me in your thoughts.
> 
> If anyone wants to keep tabs on me, make sure I'm safe, or just want updates on my situation, please check out either of my [tumblr](http://www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com) [blogs](http://www.zaiyofalls.tumblr.com).


	7. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cider was confused. Upon looking for his brother, or the human, he was confronted with the knowledge that they'd changed locations. Upon peeking in on them, he decided there were much... less awkward times to tell them to return to Culture Shock as soon as things were less muddled. One way or another, it seemed he was returning far too late to be of any real use to the human or his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a couple months since my last update, and I'm sorry about that. I came up to Indiana with the hopes that things would be better. They weren't, for reasons. I’m in Kentucky again, after having been gone for just one month. I didn’t mean to let the updates dry up so badly, I’ve just been busy, and you’ll see what all I’ve gotten done very soon. (hint: it’s more than just this story ^.^)
> 
> I’ve been working a new factory job, full time, which hasn’t given me much time to work with. The thing that’s kept me from posting for so long, however, was lack of time/spoons to record a track for this chapter. I’ll add it in post, of course, later. In the meantime, however, I’m at least making decent money. I should be able to work on getting a better home, and saving up to start my own business and/or go to college. I have hopes.
> 
> One more thing, please show some love to [Whisper](http://with-a-whisper.tumblr.com/), who not only encouraged me to start this story once the rough idea got out, but has been my beta reader throughout it, given me ideas, drawn So Much Stuff for this story, and just been an amazing frendo in general. 
> 
> The reason I hadn’t been present on here in the month I was away is I had very little time to write. I also had sung maybe a collective 15 minutes over the course of the entire MONTH, which means I’ve been out of practice and had no way to de-stress. Stress levels in the house were hellacious, to the point where I had serious self-harm problems. 
> 
> With how much work I do during the week days now, and how hard I sleep, waking up to comments again after so long will be awesome. And best of all, those comments will be on yet another FULLY COMPLETED STORY!!! YAY!
> 
> So let's get into that, shall we??? HELL YEA!

You were sweating, and the smell of cedar was stronger now. You felt a weight on you, but it wasn’t until you felt breath on you that you realized it was because someone was lying Directly on top of you.

You opened your eyes. You were naked under a white sheet, and on top of it-- was Strings. He was nuzzling into your neck, and cranking out enough heat to throttle a mule.

He was wearing clothes that were obviously not his own, disheveled as hell, at that. Like he’d dressed very hurriedly.

"Did… Strings, did we have sex?" You managed to ask.

At the first sound of your voice, he startled, pushing straight off of you to hover as if doing a pushup. He looked down at you and then choked before falling off the bed. Thanks to sweat, the sheet over you was mostly sheer, and he’d gotten an eyeful.

You covered yourself and looked at him on the floor.

Strings was on his feet in an instant, looking away. "I’ll be right back.”

“Wait, where are we?”

When he opened the door, you heard people talking, glasses clinking. Strings paused, still keeping his face turned away. “I’ll explain in a moment, I just need to…”

“Strings…”

He took a breath, swallowed it. He mopped his face as if to wipe away tears before turning back to you. His voice was thick. “I thought I lost you.”

“What happened?” You did _not_ want to let his emotions influence you but it was damn hard when he sounded so vulnerable.

“I… you were passed out from the cold, and I needed to get you somewhere safe and warm immediately. So I chose my friend’s bar. We’re in his back room right now, and I’ll go to Culture Shock in a minute to get you some clothes… I swear I didn’t fuck you, I just needed to keep you from freezing to death.”

He was deceptively calm, emotions aside. But somehow you figured there was more to it. You wondered what _really_ happened.

 

_**WHAT REALLY HAPPENED:** _

_“GRILLBY HELP!”_

_Without warning, Strings appeared in the middle of the bar, snow everywhere, and a half-frozen human over his shoulder._

_Aggravation aside, Grillby immediately sprung into action, directing him to the back room. He told him to get you unclothed so the wet clothes wouldn’t make it worse. Strings stared dumbly at him._

_“Well, **I** can’t do it.” Grillby reminded Strings. “That human is wet. I have a bar to run-- and a mess to clean up. So if you don’t mind, their clothes **must** be removed. Use those extra hands if you must. I’ll go upstairs in a moment to get a clean sheet as cover.”_

_“You… don’t you have anything thicker? Like a comforter?” Strings turned fully toward Grillby while he managed to peel Cider’s turtleneck off of you._

_“Strings. Why would I have anything thicker than a sheet.” Grillby deadpanned. “You’ll just have to use your magic. Now stop wasting time and tend to your human.”_

_“Not my human.” Strings tried to interject, but Grillby was already gone. Deadly efficient, that man._

_Strings was incredibly uncomfortable removing your clothes. Sure, you’d come after him, but he had no idea why. As much as he hoped it was because you still loved him, he didn’t know what to do in that event. And just because you loved him didn’t mean you consented to being undressed… but if he didn’t, you’d die..._

_Thinking was also way too hard when he could feel his phantom hands on your body. You were so cold._

_Shit, what would happen when Grillby came back in? He was going to see you naked. Strings growled and grabbed one of the lounge cushions and held it like a shield to guard your helpless form from prying eyes._

_Grillby didn’t even come in, just stuck his arm through with a sheet flawlessly folded in his hand. Strings grabbed it with a summoned hand and threw down the cushion. He draped you in the sheet, picked you up, wrapped you up, and carried you to the back room where Grillby’s niece stayed occasionally._

_The bed was covered in a fireproof tarp that crinkled when he lay you down. He figured you’d warm up faster all tucked up like a burrito, but… if you woke up in a strange place immobilized, how likely would you be to panic?_

_He loosened it up, then with a sigh decided to just cover you up like regular. But now how were you supposed to warm up?_

_He rubbed his face. **Shit. I really am going to have to do that.** His clothes were still wet, and he was **not** laying on you naked._

_Grillby knocked, opened the door, and threw in a change of clothes. They were old as fuck from the last time he’d crashed here, too drunk to even walk. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d worn that jacket, or that sweater. He’d missed these pants, honestly.  
_

_He contemplated putting the clothes on you, but the pants were tight on **him** and he had **no flesh**. Plus, the idea of uncovering you and dressing you felt even more wrong than undressing you had._

_He dressed, and bit back a snort when he saw himself in the mirror. He looked like his old, edge-lord self._

_He tossed his wet clothes to the side. Glancing at your draped form, Strings sighed and finally made his decision. His stupidity almost got you killed. As selfish as it was, he didn’t want to leave you. As much as he hated himself for it, he wanted to hold you, wake up to you. He was emotionally exhausted and unwilling to fight anymore today._

_He climbed up on the bed. He felt that pain in his ribs that reaffirmed his predicament, and when he braced himself over you, looking down at you, he felt himself start to cry again, and nearly punched himself in the face trying to mop it off before it dripped on you._

_He cranked out heat with his energy, and gradually let himself sink closer. Fuck, he was exhausted. First, he’d skipped sleep, used up most of his energy reserves, and now he’d felt nearly the full expanse of his emotional capacity in the span of two hours. And now…_

_He could hear your heartbeat. He put his head on your shoulder and suffered the urge cry, to hold you. The raw relief of that simple sound, and the echo of the pulsation in his ribs trying to match it._

_After a couple small, subdued sobs, he passed out on you, still cranking out heat._

 

He came back and handed you your clothes, then went to leave the room. You grabbed his shoulder. “Hey. Just… turn around. I need to talk to you, so don’t run off.”

He didn’t argue, just nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

“I was stupid.”

“You were.”

“I wanna say that my heart was in the right place, I was just…”

“Yeah, no, it was completely ineffectual.”

“You almost died.”

“And now I’m all sweaty and shit.”

“Nica handed me deodorant on the way out.”

“Give it.”

He dug in his pocket and pulled it out, brandishing it in your direction without looking again.

“Strings.” You’d gotten the pants and shirt on. “Come here and sit down, I need to talk to you.”

He looked at you now, and nodded again, staring at the ground. Appeared properly scolded, like he was going to break down any moment.

You sat with him on the bed, and scooted closer. You took his hands. “I don’t know how to say this.”

He stared at your hands. “I guess just tell me.”

You dropped one of his hands and giggled, pulling his face up to look at you. “This isn’t about earlier. Not entirely, anyway. I just… don’t know how to tell you.”

He sighed and closed his eyes, bracing himself even still.

“The person you were with, the human before you met me. Nica sat me down and explained something about them.” You paused to chew your lip. “They got you drunk. They spiked your drink with blood. _That’s_ why you blacked out and attacked.”

He opened his eyes, searching your face for some sign of dishonesty. “Why did she never tell me?”

“I… She had her reasons. Please, don’t be too mad at her.”

He took a deep breath. “Fuck.” He looked up. “I have all this fucking hatred for myself and it’s there for _no reason_? And I don’t know whether to blame Shay or Nica.”

“I understand that.” You chuckled. “But, Strings.” You cradled his face, looked into his sockets, saw the ring of light dart between your eyes. “You’ve gotta see there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“I’m not afraid.” He tried to lie, tried to avert his gaze.

“Stop trying to be tough.” You said, “Just be honest.”

“I don’t know how to feel now. Everything I’ve based my sense of self on in the past year has fallen out and I don’t know what to build on anymore.”

“Build on the real you.”

“I picked myself apart. I gave up drinking. I held back from _you_ \--.” he cut himself off with a click of teeth and tried to look away again.

You felt your face split in a grin, and you giggled and rolled your eyes. “Come here, dork.” You pulled him into a hug. He paused for a long moment, but then his arms went around you and he buried his face into your shoulder, holding you tight. “You’re not off the hook for yelling at me.”

“I’ll make it up to you. I just need a longer nap.”

At that point, Cider manifested in the room with the two of you out of nowhere, making both of you jump. “BROTHER, I’VE MADE DINNER AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALL INVITED. PLEASE GATHER YOUR HUMAN, WE’RE ALL WAITING. YOU CAN CONSUMMATE LATER.”

Strings made an aggravated noise that felt more like an admittance of defeat.

He looked at you. You smiled and shrugged.

“HURRY UP, THE LAMB WILL BURN!” Cider prodded, and disappeared.

 

* * *

 

_**EPILOGUE:** _

Even after everything was understood, the two of you had approached your relationship cautiously, to the point that not much had changed from how it had been. The affection wasn’t performative, but you were hesitant to even kiss for the longest time.

The one time you were about to kiss, Beni had come in and ruined the mood. After that, it was a stifling pressure, but one that neither of you were confident enough to break.

The emotional aspect was just as confusing. Honesty led to all-new discussions of things, but when it came time to address what was growing between you, neither of you could speak.

Strings had been getting professional help, and you had both been working overtime at your respective shops to earn enough money to pool together to get your own place nearby. _That_ much you were able to talk about.

You’d both remarked how nice it would be to decorate your own place, have a nice big bed… but the discussion usually ended there because you’d both be looking elsewhere.

Last time that happened, Strings had threw his head back and sighed. "I didn’t use to be this shy."

You hesitated, but eventually broke the silence. "Why is this different?"

"Because this _means_ something. I’ve been keeping my magic levels in check so I don’t rush this, and… it just means more than it used to, ‘cause it’s you."

You had no response.

 

Strings and Cider shared a day they could more or less call their birthday. Both had their own specific day, but since they were about a month apart, Beni decided to smush them together so they only had to plan a single bone-themed party that wasn’t Halloween.

Beni, Gixie, Trevor, and you were all working together in the kitchen. Trevor was accustomed to the kitchen because he’d been working with Cider since business had picked up, allowing Beni to focus on bookkeeping and Cider to focus on cooking. More often than not, that left you to serve food and handle cash.

Now, with both Gixie and Trevor there, though, there was barely anything for you and Beni to do. Gixie and Trevor were perhaps the most cohesive unit you’d ever seen. They functioned like a single person, and you wondered how long they’d been together.

It was strange. They really weren’t affectionate or anything. Trevor must have noticed the gears turning, because he explained he was aromantic and that he and Gixie were in a queerplatonic and polyamorous relationship. He’d seemed shy at first, but when he learned you liked to game suddenly he wouldn’t shut up.

Gentem was holding two Fennel-sized children that looked more startlingly human than bear, while Fennel sat with Alison, a hand worriedly rubbing her bloated stomach. The fruit on his head was getting huge, turning a darker purple each day, fading to sunset orange toward the bunched top.

"I swear to god, I’m getting a hysterectomy after this one." She said at one point. She pointed at Gentem, "And _you’re_ getting a snip or four!"

 

Once Alison had learned about Shay’s deceit, she’d started coming to Culture Shock often, to meet you and Beni as well as to ease back into Strings’ life with all the heartfelt apology you’d expect from a highly emotional pregnant lady.

Of course, it had come out during a netflix session with you and Beni that she was indeed pregnant again.

"I thought Gentem was bad. Fennel never warned me what his would imply, so when it turned out he’d ovipositioned a fruit into me and then fertilized it over the course of 2 weeks…"

Beni and you had made appropriate noises, laughing and groaning at how long that was. She waved her arms. "Oh god, it got worse though. After it fertilized? The fruit part that wasn’t seeds started coming out. I menstruated half-rotted fruit for two straight months!"

You and Beni made a great show of being grossed out, but it was also hilarious. "So when do you see how many little Fens you have in there?"

"I have five little wood-hobbits growing in me. _Five_."

And then a few weeks later, Fennel had gone into heat again from stress, but this time he’d grown a big-ass flower on top of his head. Alison didn’t even realize what had happened until Fennel said he was carrying a fruit on his head now.

Apparently Gentem could fuck a flower. No one really knew how that happened and Gentem was too shy to tell. It was also the one aspect of anything Fennel didn’t like to talk about.

Alison had smacked Gentem and groaned, "DON’T WE HAVE ENOUGH CHILDREN?"

Fennel had just shrugged, carefully with the new weight on his head. "Needed an even number."

 

When it came time to shop for the guys’ birthday, you had gone to Nica. You didn’t ask her for help, just needed to buy from her. Hiding the present had been hard until you found a nice place deep in your closet that he wouldn’t be able to see easily unless he became the skeleton in your closet.

Nica had a box of software she’d bought at cost that usually ran for a nice 1000+ dollars, and some things that would complement your gift.

As for Cider, you’d scoured the internet for home-cooking books that showcased food across America. Cider had traveled all through Europe and Asia, with a week-long stint in South America, but his knowledge of American dishes was adorably limited. Worse than Beni, and previous to the move to Topside, they’d outright ignored America other than what you’d talked about in your chats.

Gentem had pulled through after asking for some advice. He got a few monster cookbooks. Licensed ones by Mettaton and Muffet. They were not cheap by any means. Alison and Fennel had pitched in, and the children made homemade cards.

Nica was keeping her gift for Cider a secret, but not nearly as guarded a secret as Beni’s gifts.

And so, when Cider came down to lunch, carrying a stuffed banana with big button eyes, you understood what Beni had been toiling over.

That didn’t prepare you for Beni not even wrapping the one they threw full-force at Strings’ head. "Happy Birth, you fuckhead."

Beni explained that they’d gotten the idea because Cider had problems with touching, but needed something to cuddle sometimes at the same time. So they made his first. Then realized they didn’t have the slightest idea what to get Strings and had so much stuff left over…

Plus, they figured since they never had a childhood where they suffer through identical gifting so they don’t argue, it’d be a cute thing to do. With a shrug, they concluded that they were fun to make, too.

Cider, of course, loved it. In fact, he loved it so much he’d started sobbing grossly into it while nuzzling, the button eyes clicking against his skull. He got _most_ of that out of his system before coming downstairs. However, you could tell where he was by not looking now, with the occasional clicking noises.

Gentem’s little twins, Mona and Nova, loved "Mr. Nannerton" too, and with Alison and Fennel both due before long, Beni sighed and put their head in their hands. "I’m gonna need more fabric and buttons."

Gentem piped up he wanted one too.

 

Unboxing presents finally came around. The kids went first, showing off their adorable cards. Cider immediately hung his on the fridge. Strings said he’d prop them open on his dresser in his room because he could Not top putting them on the fridge and he didn’t actually own one.

Gixie and Trevor went next. Trevor had bought a travel diary and photo album for Cider. Gixie got an excellent camera that had come through the pawn shop she’d worked at. She was supposed to be selling it for 50 bucks but when she looked it up it was worth nearly 800 dollars. She jumped at the deal herself.

It was in the look Trevor and Cider traded while Beni studied the camera with fascination that tipped you off. That and the fact Cider had asked you a week ago what kind of jewelry Beni liked to wear. You suddenly realized you and Trevor would be working some overtime soon.

For Strings, a new console and games. Trevor very enthusiastically gushed about the games he picked out while Gixie just watched him with amusement. After he was done, she added, "It has Netflix, a browser, spotify, and can play blurays.”

Gentem, being the only one of them not pregnant, did the honors of bringing the impressively weighty presents to the table. Cider did more gross-sobbing when he opened the cookbooks. Beni cautiously rubbed his back and looked like crying too.

Strings’ present left him in tears too. Gentem had taught Strings how to play guitar, and as he picked up Gentem’s special acoustic, he stifled a choked sob. Gentem pulled him into a hug. "I meant to give this to you before, but it’s better late than never and with it sitting around, I need more room for cribs."

Strings laughed and hugged tight enough to make the hulking bear grunt.

Well shit. You panicked for a minute. You looked at Nica, who gestured for you to stay calm.

You held your breath. Nica gestured for you to go on and grab yours real quick while she drummed hers up. You sped off, still internally screaming.

Cookbooks and a guitar. Exactly what you’d gotten.

_Fuck!_

You stood in your room and thought for a moment, smoothing yourself out in front of the mirror.

You had one thing that was special though.

You grabbed the guitar you’d bought from Nica. It was customized as per your requests. Unacoustic with setups and bells and whistles and things you knew nothing about but he always talked about wanting.

His favorite colors were dark purple and cobalt blue. If you’d ordered through anyone but Nica, the natural purple wood and blue metallic detailing would have cost a fresh fortune.

You’d even gotten a custom strap for it and had Beni embroider a message on it for you. They’d said they couldn’t wait to see his face.

You flipped the switch on the guitar to switch it from electric to acoustic setting. You didn't have an amp, so you were going to have to free-ball it.

You gave an experimental strum and bit your cheek until it almost bled. You left your room, walked carefully while wearing his gift. Strings was thanking Nica for her thoughtful and convenient presents, and Cider was plugging up a piano keyboard. Cider glimpsed you coming downstairs and his expression brightened exponentially but didn’t say anything.

“I cannot wait to learn how to use this.” Cider intoned. “I think it would make a wondrous bonding experience for my brother and I.”

“You want piano lessons, Grillby’s a good person to ask, actually.” Strings remarked offhandedly, still looking through all the stuff Nica had gotten him. Nica put Cider’s present from you on the table and Cider rushed back to it hurriedly and started opening it. “Bro, wait, you gonna…” Cider ignored him and dug into the box. You came the rest of the way downstairs, but Strings was too busy looking over Cider’s shoulder to notice you. You shushed the others and stepped to where you could see Cider’s reaction.

“Did someone buy me a bookshelf, by chance?” Cider said, and everyone giggled. “Oh, wow…”

You spoke up. “I knew you toured throughout the rest of the world, but never got the chance to explore American dishes. So I compiled a bunch of cookbooks from different areas for you.”

“OH THAT’S SO COOL!” Cider started leafing through the books. “OH WOW, LOOK, BENI! THIS IS THE SAME THING FROM SPAIN, BUT AMERICANIZED! IT’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!” He started looking through intently.

However, since you spoke, Strings’ attention had flown to you and stayed there. You felt your stomach in your throat again. “So before I give you your present, I wanna show you it works.” You said, but your voice cracked. You prayed it wouldn’t after that. Already your face felt like it was on fire, and you could hear a pin drop in the room.

“I’ve learned to recognize that playful glint to your eyes  
The way your smile makes my heart tremble  
I’ve found what I need to find, and when you ask what’s on my mind  
I realize without you, I’d just be in shambles

And, hell, it’s been a long time coming  
And, hell, I’ve been waiting just to say…

It’s been worth it, every day. It’s been worth it, every way.  
You’ve grown so much, and I’ll always want to see more.  
It’s been worth it, every day. It’s been worth it, every way.  
I’m so proud of you, you’re who I’ve waited all my life for.

And, hell, it’s been a long time coming  
And, hell, I’ve been waiting just to say…  
I still love you, and it’ll always be that way.”

Fuck, it got quiet. You were paralyzed. And then you looked around. Gixie and Trevor were grinning like possums, Gentem was holding both the kids in one arm, with Ali and Fen snuggled in the other arm. He was openly weeping.

You couldn’t see Nica’s expression save for the freckles of sparkly paint on her arms and hands. The zippo she’d been waving around flicked off with an audible _click_. Cider, as if prompted by the sudden break in silence, began snuggling into Mr. Nannerton, and ruffled Beni’s hair.

Beni’s [expression ](https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iur/?f=1&image_host=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Fnewsfeed%2F000%2F894%2F183%2F689.png&u=https://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/894/183/689.png)was priceless.

You didn’t really see much of that, because when your eyes met Strings’ you were trapped. You tried to think of something to say.

You were choking! You coughed and your face super-heated, and you strummed and hoarsely sang, "ahh, yep, the guitar works."

Strings laughed, with some heartbreakingly adorable expression. Full of affection, emotion. He got up and came closer to you. You moved the guitar on its strap to sit on your back.

He took your face in both of his hands, leaned in, and kissed you sweetly. You felt dizzy, and so when you opened your eyes and saw him looking back at you like he was overwhelmed, you giggled.

He grinned and pulled you into a tight hug. "I love you too."

Shit, suddenly you were crying. So was Gentem, still. Fennel offered you a thumbs up.

You giggled, and he pulled back to look at you. His expression melted at your smile, at the tears in your eyes. And when he came closer, your eyes fluttered shut and his chest clenched.

He had to be tame, with everyone watching, but the feeling of your mouth on his was enough to almost make him lose himself. Not in hunger, or desperation. He just didn't know who he’d be after this moment.

He just wanted to be with you, wanted to be closer. Not to consume, not even to claim. Those urges would always be there in the background, lingering, but what he was feeling now almost convinced him that you’d somehow purified him.

He’d thought bonding was some kind of exaggeration, or a stupid joke. But it had crept up on him.

You wondered why no one made a noise. You expected Beni to clap or something.

When the kiss ended, you lay your forehead against his shoulder. "Where are we?" You asked. "I know we’re not still in Culture Shock."

"We’re home. If this one’s good enough."

Your eyes sprang open. This was not your room. "What?"

"I did some shopping. There’s a construction business nearby, Gentem opened the door for me. I’ll be making enough, and with so many people vouching credit for me, I got approved for a homeowner’s loan. Didn't realize Gentem and Fennel had as much pull as they did, but hey."

" _What_?" Holy shit, it was huge in here!

"I was torn between having it be a surprise and getting you to approve of it first."

"Strings…" You were mopping your face as you looked around.

"I don’t wanna move too fast."

"We’ve been doing this for a long time. I miss having my own house."

"I’ve never had one." He came up behind you as you looked out the front window. He rested his chin on your head, wrapped his arms around you, and sighed. "Never had a lot of things. But I got ‘em now. I have _you_."

It hadn’t fully occurred to you, what you’d gained in the past year. But now, standing in an empty, clean kitchen, looking out over a garden-- _your_ garden you realized, feeling dizzy…

You couldn’t remember ever having felt this hopeful before. Giddiness bubbled up. "I can’t wait to decorate this place!"

He laughed and squeezed you a bit. "I can’t wait to order a big comfy bed for you."

"Oh, come on. Don’t start sounding like a sugar daddy."

He hummed in appreciation. "As fun as that sounds, you know I just love you."

"Yeah, but--"

"I’ve never been able to spoil someone before."

You sighed. "Okay that’s fair."

With both of you so far from everyone else, no one to cockblock, the energy was different. So when you felt his mouth press to your temple, you swallowed your breath.

And when he growled, your knees went weak. "Just don’t spoil too quickly. I wanna eat you up at leisure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your support of this story. I should be bouncing back to YAU next, since I know what direction to take that, next, and will have enough sexual and romantic frustration to properly write what needs to be written next.
> 
> Please don't worry too much about me. By all accounts, I'll be fine. I'm ready to finally stand up for myself. I'm tired of living in a closet or a box.
> 
> Remember that I love to be harassed over on my blogs! I have a sfw blog for those of you who are squicky with sex, or are minors, as well as a nsfw blog which is almost entirely SUPPORT FOR STORIES ABOUT STRINGS, since they are primarily nsfw in concept. This story might have been a lot more bare bones (heh) than the others, concerning sexual content.... but I'll be making up for it (boi howdy will i) in the next couple chapters of YAU.
> 
> I wrote this story this way bc i needed love more than sex. hope it scratched your itch, too! Stay fuggin awesome, my dudes, and I'll see you in the comments!
> 
> (Note: I'm going to start posting my rough vocal raws of these songs on my soundcloud account, and embed them in their respective fics. I figure that I don't have to get them perfect, or have the backing music completely planned out just to get the idea across for now. I have to start somewhere... This one being the shortest song I've written thus far, I'll probably do it first.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading. If you can't get enough of Strings, check out the other stories in this series, and remember to bookmark or subscribe for the final installment of Tainted!


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